Stephanie's former boyfriend used her as a punching bag. He repeatedly hit her in the face. She was a virtual prisoner in her St. Louis home.

A high school dropout, Stephanie felt trapped in a nightmare life. "I felt like I couldn't get on my feet," she said. "I didn't see a way out."

Neither did Monica, trapped in an abusive marriage in Dexter, Mo. In her case, the abuse was largely verbal and emotional. Her husband wouldn't let her get her driver's license or even vote. A factory worker, Monica had to turn over every paycheck to her husband. He decided how the money would be spent.

She left him twice only to return. "He promised he would change," she recalled. "I wanted to believe he would change."

He didn't.

Both women eventually fled the abuse, seeking to rebuild their lives at the Safe House for Women Inc. in Cape Girardeau.

Their stories are repeated over and over again in the 4,100-square-foot shelter, a two-story, 50-year-old brick house with basement. The house has three bedrooms with bunk beds and can house up to 16 women and children.

Safe House director Linda Garner said the shelter was completely full during seven months last year. The center had to refer 38 victims of domestic violence to other shelters in the region during the last half of 2004.

As of Thursday, only four women and no children were living at the shelter. But Garner said that's unusual.

Often, women come to the shelter with two, three or even four children.

"We just don't know from week to week," she said.

Garner said the Safe House eventually may have to build an addition or find more spacious quarters.

Currently, even the unfinished basement is used. Supplies are stored and laundry washed in the basement. The first floor has crammed offices for staff, a kitchen, a dining room and a counseling room. The second floor houses the bedrooms and a small family room.

"It is communal living," Garner said. "So the more spread out you can be, the better."

Last year the shelter took in 300 women and children and provided support services for another 100 people recovering from domestic violence. The victims came from a wide region, including Southeast Missouri and surrounding states.

The shelter, which has operated for 14 years, seeks to help both women and children deal with the emotional scars of domestic violence.

"Many of the children have witnessed the violence," Garner said. They need counseling too, she said.

The Safe House also operates a 24-hour hotline victims of domestic violence or friends and family can call for help. It averages 750 calls a year.

The Safe House, she said, shouldn't be confused with the Vision House, an apartment complex that opened late last month on Middle Street.

The Safe House helps victims of domestic violence while Vision House, which is a faith-based venture, provides transitional housing for up to two years for homeless women seeking to recover from drug and alcohol addictions.

The Safe House has five full-time staff and 10 part-time employees, as well as a number of volunteers. It costs about $330,000 annually to operate. The funding comes from the state and federal governments, court fees, proceeds from a county mental health tax, and private donations including money from the United Way of Southeast Missouri.

"We couldn't do it without the donations," Garner said.

Some women couldn't have made it, either.

Monica brought two of her three children -- a 3-year-old daughter and a 5-year-old son -- with her when she moved into the shelter last year. Her 12-year-son chose to stay with his father.

But the shelter also serves single women like 20-year-old Stephanie, who moved into the shelter about a month ago after enduring six months of physical and sexual abuse she said got progressively worse.

"He choked me and forced himself upon me," she said of her former boyfriend. Battered and bruised, she fled in February to a women's shelter in St. Charles, Mo.

But her former boyfriend, who was a friend of her family, soon found her working at a McDonald's restaurant. She escaped by running out the back door. The St. Charles shelter staff helped her relocate to the Cape Girardeau shelter.

The Safe House staff helped her find the job, provided her with clothes and helped her enroll in the GED program.

She's also received counseling. "It's helped me tremendously," she said. The staff, she said, has made it possible for her to move on with her life.

"Here they give you time to heal," Stephanie said.

Most Safe House clients call the place home for three months to five months, although some move out within a few weeks, Garner said.

Monica and two of her children stayed from June through November last year. At first, the 34-year-old woman had to depend on taxis to get around. She had no vehicle or driver's license.

She obtained her driver's license in February and has a donated van. She obtained a job in a local factory and lives in an apartment.

Equally important emotionally, she recently obtained a divorce.

"I did what I had to do for me and my kids," she said.

But emotional scars don't heal easily. Monica still comes back to the shelter for counseling and the weekly Tuesday night support-group meetings.

Most of the former residents return for the support-group meetings for months after they leave the shelter.

Some former residents of the shelter like Monica also come back for one-on-one counseling. "They can come back for counseling as long as they need it," Garner said.

Within six months to a year after leaving, most former residents are ready to move on with their lives independent of the Safe House, she said.

mbliss@semissourian.com

335-6611, extension 123