Reconciliation reminds us we're forgiven

My life was transformed in the confessional.

It was here that I said out loud all of my deepest fears and things I was most ashamed of and was told I am enough.

It was here I was looked on in love when I most expected to be rejected.

It was here Jesus spoke healing and wisdom and laughter to me.

It still is today.

Father Bill said it this way: the Sacrament of Reconciliation is a celebration of God's love.

As our birthdays celebrate the fact that we're alive every day, we need a celebration of reconciliation to remind us that we're always forgiven.

Instead of guilt or shame, it's our experience of God's deep love for us that moves us to confession, to wanting to be as close as possible with our God.

The Sacrament of Reconciliation is where I am reminded of my true identity.

In saying who I think I am because I'm caught up in my sins and struggles, this is where I'm reminded of who I truly am, as I give my sins over.

It's where I'm reminded that I am good, loved and free, an image of my God. Anything that says otherwise is a lie.

There is a line in the song "Flying for the First Time" by Elenowen that always strikes me.

It's a fragment that goes like this: "The second I stop second-guessing, let go like a confession ... ."

I love this image for confession, how the line defines it as a letting go, an unburdening, a free fall of trust and abandon resulting in freedom and open hands.

I love how it can mean either confession to God or others and points to others being God's visible love and grace, how it's our job to be that for each other, before and after we make the most fulfilling confession to him.

Lately there has been loss all around in my life, and I don't know what to do with it.

With all this loss, I am afraid of being left. I am afraid of God leaving me like this, leaving me here, alone, confused, disillusioned.

"I will never leave you, I will never abandon you."

"My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness."

"I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand."

"I will remove your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh."

"He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."

This is what he says to me through a quiet call back to confession, through my looking at him and naming specifically what I'm sorry for, and his looking at me only with love.

This is what he says to me through other people's love and presence: my parents. Courtney and Emily. Lauren, in a letter.

He and his grace find a way to love me, open me, reach me in a way that makes sense to, means something, comforts and transforms my heart.