Missouri's shared-parenting bill supports children's best interests after divorce

As a mother and grandmother, I've felt the pain Missouri's broken family court system inflicts on families. Children are hurting. Parents are hurting. Aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents -- everyone's hurting.

All this because our courts continue rubber stamping the outdated primary residential custody parenting model after divorce or separation, despite an overwhelming amount of research showing children need and want equal access to both parents. Thankfully, Missouri legislators are currently considering legislation that aligns with research and stands to turn families' pain into joy. HB 2055, sponsored by Kathy Swan of Cape Girardeau, and SB 964, sponsored by Wayne Wallingford, also of Cape Girardeau, encourage our state's courts to award shared parenting -- a flexible arrangement where children spend as close to equal time as possible with each parent -- when both parents are fit and there has been no domestic violence, and I urge all lawmakers to support this crucial proposal.

By considering this legislation, Missouri joins a national trend. While shared parenting is still unusual post-divorce -- according to the U.S. Census Bureau, it occurs less than 20 percent of the time when parents live separately -- Missouri joins nearly 20 states across the nation that have considered bills supporting shared parenting within the past year. At least two states have turned the proposals into law in recent months and several states have been supportive of shared parenting for years.

This national movement toward parental equality is rooted in research. As just one recent example, the Journal of Epidemiology & Community Health published a 150,000-person study last year that concluded shared parenting after divorce or separation is in the best interest of children. In addition, federal statistics consistently show the devastating impact of single parenting. For example, children raised by single parents are significantly more at risk of dropping out of school, landing in prison, developing mental disorders and committing suicide when compared to children raised by both parents.

Not only does Missouri's proposal align with what data tells us is best for children, it also aims to make child custody cases much less adversarial. When the conversation begins, rather than ends, with shared parenting, the conflict and never-ending legal costs that often follow, drop. What's more instead of one parent "winning" and another parent "losing," the entire family can heal with shared parenting in place.

Shared parenting is a common-sense solution that addresses the concerns of all involved, from judges to parents.

To be clear, the proposal does not infringe on judicial discretion. Judges would still have just as much of a right to act when parents are unfit as they always have -- the best interest of the child continues to be the top priority. Rather, the proposal simply seeks to make shared parenting the starting point of the judicial process, rather than an afterthought, as it is now.

That said, in the overwhelming majority of cases where a child has two equally loving and fit parents, this legislation encourages the court to provide that child as much time as possible with both mom and dad so that they can benefit from all that each parent has to offer.

What's particularly troubling about the current winner-takes-all family court tradition is that the practice routinely forces one of two wonderful parents, typically the father, into the loser position -- a role that more resembles a visitor than a parent. In day-to-day life, this means a perfectly fit and willing parent goes from actively involved in his or her child's life to spending time with a child just every other weekend and maybe once during the week. It's heartbreaking.

Shared parenting is the solution for 21st-century families. At a time when modern parents, regardless of gender, want to be as actively involved in their children's lives as ever while also balancing professional ambitions and responsibilities, shared parenting allows both to be successful contributors at work and at home.

The absence of shared parenting in our family courts is an issue that impacts millions of families across our nation every day, but unfortunately it's a challenge commonly overlooked until it hits close to home. Every day, parents walk into family court as loving, very involved and dedicated parents and walk out relegated to visitor status in their children's lives. That feeling of hopelessness is deep and frightening, and this reality was apparent during the recent SB 964 hearing before the Seniors, Families and Children Committee, where many testified in favor of the bill and just one person voiced concerns.

I hope the Committee heard these pleas for change. The family-court status quo must stop. Our children deserve better, and we can start to give them what they deserve by passing HB 2055 and SB 964.

Linda Reutzel is a mother, grandmother and member of National Parents Organization. She lives in Cape Girardeau, Missouri.