How To Use The Passing Lane

Dear Doofus 'Parked' In The Passing Lane,

I know that you're from out of state. That is obvious.

You have Tennessee license plates and stenciled on the back of your packed white passenger van is the name of an Assembly of God church from a city in the Volunteer State that I've never heard of. Since you're from out-of-state, I should probably cut you some slack.

And I should also cut you some slack since you are -- after all -- a church van and that would be the Christian thing to do. Perhaps, there is a bible-verse that says something to the effect that you should let the man pass who has the large team of oxen pulling a heavy load. If there's not, there should be. That is part of my own personal philosophy.

For instance, if I'm entering a Rhode's and the delivery guy from the local Budweiser distributor is trying to push a loaded two-wheeler into the store, I will not only get out of his way, I will gladly hold the door open for him.

I believe you should always hold the door for the beer man. It's the right thing to do.

And I feel the same when driving on the interstate. If you had been in a hurry, and wanted to pass me, I would have moved out of the passing lane and let you by.

But you weren't in a hurry.

In fact, you were in front of me cruising along in the passing lane. Perhaps you don't have these things in your state. That's what we call the far left lane of the interstates in Missouri -- the passing lane. It is the lane we use to pass other slower vehicles. The system works quite well.

The passing lane is a very simple concept.

When you are driving on the interstate -- I-55 in this case -- you should always use the right lane unless you are passing or being a good Samaritan and moving over to allow entering traffic to merge. When you are done passing or the right lane is open for you to move back over, you move back over.

You should not drive for mile after mile in the passing lane unless you can't move over -- which was not the case in your situation. While I was behind you, there were several times you could have moved over, but chose instead to poke along in the passing lane.

Eventually, the white car ahead of me had to pass you in the right lane. You would think that may have tipped you off.

"Gee, why is someone passing me over there?" you may have thought, but apparently didn't. Maybe you were too engrossed in singing "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" to notice.

I finally had to do the same as the white car. I don't like having to pass another driver like that, but your inattentiveness gave me no choice. Thankfully the driver from the other church bus in your caravan was not as clueless as you.

When I passed him a few minutes later he was in the right lane where he should be. At least, that is where he should be in Missouri. Maybe that is not the case in Tennessee.