Wheel and Quentin, R.I.P.

I don't know if you noticed, but I've been in mourning since May.

That's when I finally put two of my trashcans to sleep.

I've written about my trashcans before. We own -- or I should say owned -- seven. One is mine, two are my wife's from before we got married and four we bought together a few years ago.

They all have names. My trashcan is Ol' Blackie, because he is almost 20 years old and black. My wife's cans are named Bluey and Wheel. Obviously, Bluey is blue and Wheel started life as a two-wheeled trashcan before an overly rambunctious trash man shattered one of his plastic tires a few years ago. Since then he's been like the trashcan version of the Leaning Tower of Pisa and tends to fall over at the slightest breeze.

And then we have The Quads -- Quentin, Quigley, Quincy & Queenie -- four identical Rubbermaid trashcans that are only about five or six years old, but have not aged very gracefully. They have holes in their bottoms and tears in their sides. Quentin The Quad is in the worst shape. I keep expecting his bottom to break open at any time.

Five of these seven cans I collect yard waste in and the other two I actually use for trash.

Or at least I did.

That was before the City of Cape Girardeau decided to change its trash and recycling collection to a type of service that uses special trashcans. My old trashcans are now obsolete for anything except hauling yard waste to the recycling center.

In early April, the City delivered the cans we would need to use with the new trash system. Since I own two houses next to each other, I got four trashcans -- 2 for trash and 2 for recycling.

Suddenly, the area by my garages was looking extremely cluttered with these four additions. Since, I didn't need seven cans for yard waste I decided it was time to permanently retire a couple of my old cans. In other words, put them to sleep.

Quentin The Quad was an obvious choice. If he made it another year, it would be a miracle. Wheel was the other one I chose to get rid of. I checked with my wife to see if it was OK with her. After all, it was her trashcan so I thought she might be a little sentimental about getting rid of it.

"I don't even remember buying it" was her response.

And so, the last week of April, when the city was picking up unneeded old trashcans, I put Wheel and Quentin out by the curb for the last time.

It's taken me six months just to talk about my loss, but I know they're now in a better place.

In honor of Wheel and Quentin, I've created the following song based on the classic country tune Pancho and Lefty written by Van Zandt Townes. Apologies to Mr. Townes, Willie Nelson and Merle Haggard who recorded the most popular version of the song as well as anyone who can actually sing.

Click Here To Listen To Wheel and Quentin