To the editor:

On behalf of the people of St. Louis, may I be first to extend our heartfelt thanks to the citizens of Cape Girardeau and their elected representatives for helping build a stadium for the Cardinals. Although the legislative process will certainly spread favors and consideration to every corner of this great state, most of the cash will be spent right here, enabling St. Louis politicians to promote, preserve and perpetuate this city's long-hallowed tradition of municipal corruption.

Were it not for your generous commitment of tax money, our movers and shakers would be hard-pressed to find a new revenue source better suited to bid rigging, payoffs and kickbacks. We can all rest assured that for decades to come a well-connected clique of lawyers, bankers and builders will do their very best to line the pockets of our homegrown hacks with the chump change they so richly deserve.

Thanks for helping send this positive message, a shining beacon to investors everywhere that St. Louis honors the spirit of Mark Twain with the best government money can buy.

R.L. SHELLI

St. Louis