The balancing act: How six couples thrive in marriage and business

This story originally appeared in B Magazine, the regional business magazine of the Southeast Missourian and rustmedia.

Owning a business with your spouse can be an exciting time. It’s an opportunity to build on shared vision, a chance to be your own boss and create combined generational wealth for your family. For many, there’s freedom and flexibility, a welcome change from punching a time clock.

But similar to marriage, owning a business is tough. Just because you have a great idea, doesn’t mean it will work. There are long hours, financial strains and endless challenges to overcome. When one problem gets resolved, a new one pops up.

Statistics reveal that almost half of small businesses fail within the first five years. Add a 40% divorce rate to the marriage mix and you have to wonder how anybody makes it work.

And yet, they do.

In fact, these six couples across Southeast Missouri are thriving in both marriage and business. While they acknowledge the pressure and stress that comes with owning a business, they are figuring out how to combine their individual strengths and experience so they can operate as one. Across the board, they are friends first, who genuinely enjoy being around each other.

And while almost everyone agrees that work/life balance isn’t a thing, these couples prioritize time away from the business as a way to keep their married relationship strong.

David and Mary Jo Bammel

Villainous Grounds

Years married: 11

Years in business together: Almost 9

David and Mary Jo Bammel had been married just a few years when they decided to go into business together. Both were feeling worn thin from their corporate customer service jobs and started to dream about what working for themselves would look like. On a delayed honeymoon vacation, they put together a plan.

At the time, there was not a single coffee shop in Perryville, Missouri, and with both of them passionate about coffee, that was easy to agree on. But it was David who suggested the comic books. He wanted to diversify the business and address another gap in the market. Mary Jo jumped on board.

Today, Villainous Grounds operates on the downtown square in Perryville. Each week they roast their own coffee with locally sourced ingredients. Mary Jo bakes all pastries in house and her daughters help run the coffee house and comic book store. According to David, it’s a joint effort that is definitely based on strengths.

“I’m a morning person, so I’m usually the opener,” David said. “Mary loves spreadsheets, but we both work out front. We work so well together, we pick up where the other leaves off.”

Whether at home or work, the story is the same. The Bammels feel fortunate to spend every day together because they truly enjoy each other’s company. They don’t talk badly about each other and they let the little things go. They’re confident the customers notice, too.

“We’re very lucky to have great customers, who have become like family,” David said. “And they feel our relationship. It’s projected without trying.”

Having both been married before, the Bammels have learned a few things about what matters and what doesn’t. Markets change, some ideas don’t work, and more coffee shops pop up around town. That’s business. But at the end of the day, Mary says, it’s disconnect from the business that’s important. David adds, “There’s no shop talk at home.”

Chris Heisserer and Stacy Busch-Heisserer

Busch Pet Products, Busch’s Kennel, Deer Creek Doggie Day Camp

Years married: 15

Years in business together: 5

Stacy Busch-Heisserer grew up in the dog business, learning and working alongside her parents, William and Cecile Busch, owners of Busch’s Kennel. With the boarding facility and their home on the same property, dogs were their life.

But by the time Stacy moved out of her childhood home and got her own apartment, she says having a pet didn’t even cross her mind. It wasn’t until many years later when she and Chris married and were expecting a child, that Stacy switched from cleaning houses to pet sitting. From there, the idea for a pet retail business started rolling.

“I had a crazy idea to build a website,” Stacy said. “Soon, we had a house full of pet supplies.”

As the online business grew and boxes threatened to overtake their small home, the couple transitioned Busch Pet Products into a storefront, which has outgrown its location multiple times. A few years later, they opened Deer Creek Doggie Day Camp. In 2019, when Stacy’s parents retired from the boarding business, Chris left his job as a delivery driver to work full-time and run the kennel. They’ve been working together ever since.

“It was an abrupt but welcome change,” Chris said. “I never got to take our son to school when he was little. Sometimes I was gone from 4 o’clock in the morning until 5:30 at night. Now, I do.”

With multiple businesses and a kennel on the property that’s always open, Chris says it’s tough to separate work and home life. Even on holidays, there is work to be done. But, the couple agrees, it’s rewarding, and they get to see each other a lot more than they did before.

“Chris brings me lunch all the time,” Stacy said. “And in the summer, he brings Brayden [our son] in. We swap stories [from our day] and it’s therapeutic to talk to each other. Who else is going to understand it?”

Having a partner in life and business comes with its own set of trials. But the Heisserers’ believe it’s important to complement each other’s differences and have patience. And as much as they love what they do, they make time for vacation, even if they visit a trade show along the way.

Courtney and Cora Sanders

Pastors at Faith Temple Complex

Years married: 18

Years in business together: 10

Courtney and Cora Sanders met in a microeconomics class at Southeast Missouri State University and later worked together at AT&T. They were friends for 10 years before dating. While Courtney knew he’d be in ministry and hoped to start a church, Cora admits that marrying a pastor wasn’t always her plan.

But after Courtney’s dad, the pastor at Faith Temple Complex in Hayti, Missouri, passed from pancreatic cancer, Courtney fulfilled his dad’s desire for him to lead the church. They’ve been pastoring together since 2014. A few years later, they started Our Community Our Health, a 501c3 that addresses food insecurity and education in the Bootheel.

“It was a plan of God that I didn’t expect,” Courtney said. “[Our goal] is to be outside the walls. To not just give food away, but to educate.”

The program was developed after multiple conversations with people in the community directly affected by food insecurity. Together, they began offering classes on healthy living and got connected with the SEMO Foodbank. To address the lack of food access, they acquired 12 acres of land, actively farming two of them in order to sell fresh produce at the farmer’s market.

In a church congregation of less than 150 members, they are making an impact on surrounding communities up to 50 miles away. And because transportation is also an issue, they’ve started taking classes to Caruthersville, Missouri. The result is changed dynamics, systems and health outcomes for those within their reach.

“We couldn’t have married anyone else,” Cora said. “It’s one thing to do work with your husband, but it’s even more intimate to do it with a best friend. We have common goals and conversations. And our kids get to do it with us, so we’re teaching the next generation.”

But sometimes timing can be an obstacle. One wants to move fast and the other slow. Or there’s a difference of opinion on how to attack a situation. One person is wrong while the other feels right. When that happens, the Sanders begin with prayer. They accept mistakes and they aim to come together.

Cora said, “There’s nothing that time won’t take care of.” And Courtney adds, “It’s not about me, not about her, it’s about us. We are on this journey together. The mission is more important than the method.”

DeWayne and April Schaaf

Celebrations Restaurant, Ebb & Flow Fermentations, Goose and Gander

Years married: 24

Years in business together: 3

DeWayne Schaaf was working at Celebrations Restaurant before he met April in 1999. She had known nothing other than him being there and putting in a lot of hours. As they married and had children, there were times April said she felt like a single mom, because they didn’t see him a lot, but she never wanted to limit his creativity.

From pantry worker to executive chef, the long hours and training paid off. In 2017, DeWayne took ownership of the restaurant. A few years later, April joined him.

“I was working as a secretary at St. Mary’s and under contract,” April said. “So, I’d be at school during the day and [at the restaurant] a lot of evenings and weekends for sure. We still had three kids at home.”

Familiar with administrative tasks, it was a natural fit for April to take on payroll, taxes, scheduling or anything else that needed to be handled in office. She plated and bartended on the weekends, quickly becoming the work mom for many of their employees. One year later, they opened Ebb & Flow Fermentations, an artisan brewery in downtown Cape. And in 2024, they opened Goose and Gander, a specialty food shop that offers tastings and education.

“She is very lenient with my eccentric hobbies,” DeWayne said. “She’s grounded. I’m the spacy dreamer. She lets me swim as far as I want in the pool, but she tells me when I need to come back. We each do what we are best at.”

With three businesses one would think they have even less time together, but the Schaafs say that’s not the case. All four of their kids, plus a son-in-law and daughter-in-law, work in the businesses, so they see each other every day. And on Sundays, no one works. Instead, the family comes over for a meal and music. A few years ago they implemented an extended family vacation in the summer, a tradition they both hope to continue.

“Every week, every day is different,” April said. “But when we are home, we’re home.”

And when things get tough, as they sometimes do, the Schaafs admit they are okay with letting the other person win. If they blow up for a second, they address it and move on. April says if it’s something in the kitchen, it needs to be his way, but if it’s her responsibility, then it’s her decision. Both agree in brutal honesty and awareness. And neither like to stay mad.

Devon and Claire Edmonds

Years Married: almost 3

Years in Business: 2 ½

Matt and Christen Hildesheim

Years married: 1

Years in Business: 2 ½

Last Mile Liquidators

Matt Hildesheim and Devon Edmonds are brothers-in-law, but before that, they were business partners. In 2021, they entered and won Codefi’s 1st50k competition for their startup company STOCKHAUS, a digital wholesaler app designed to connect like-minded buyers looking to purchase similar types of products with manufacturers selling at wholesale prices. The win was a confidence booster and just what they needed to take the next step.

While Devon was on a honeymoon with his wife, Claire, it was Matt who ordered a truckload of liquidated items from Target. Christen, Matt’s girlfriend at the time, now wife, suggested a pop-up store at the Indie House in Cape Girardeau. The community came out in droves to see the discounted Target goods, turning their situation into what Devon calls “a happy accident.” But they still had no name and no business plan.

“It was like a fun group project from high school that turned out to be real,” Claire said.

Together, the two couples decided to name the spin-off business, Last Mile Liquidators, signifying the final leg of the supply chain journey, where products get into the hands of the customer. They moved into a location on Main Street, and after working their day jobs, would show up at the warehouse to work until 2 a.m. building furniture and getting items ready to sell. After a year, they moved into their current location at 101 William St. For Matt, who has wanted to be an entrepreneur since he was a little kid, it’s been a huge achievement.

“We’re four ordinary individuals that just happen to be family,” Matt said. “And we couldn’t have done it without time, hard work and love.”

But the couples agree it’s not for the faint of heart. Between day jobs, a new marriage/engagement and a new business, it’s been a challenge. They’ve had to figure out their roles, both at home and in the company. Having open, honest communication and a positive attitude made the stressful days seem less so. Plus, they’ve built a great team.

“We’ve been able to create good jobs,” Devon said. “We want [our team members] to be happy no matter what, and it’s allowed us to take our hands off the wheel.” They’ve set boundaries, too, making the decision to close on Sundays, prioritizing faith and family. Whether sitting around a bonfire, playing pickleball or having dinner, spending quality time outside of work is a must.

“It’s difficult sometimes to not bring up work,” Christen said. “We are go, go, go. But we’ve started finding more time for us.”