April 26, 2002

H 1/2 Do you like professional wrestling? Do you like shameless acting and corny dialogue interspersed with body slams and bulging muscles? Do you think the only appropriate attire for women is hardly any at all? Do you not mind watching a film with an aimless plot, implausible transitions, incorrect sound effects, and wasted characters? Does the sight of the charismatic The Rock's lifted eyebrow make you call for your smelling salts? Does seeing the name of Vince McMahon as the executive producer provoke excitement instead of dread?. ...

H 1/2

Do you like professional wrestling? Do you like shameless acting and corny dialogue interspersed with body slams and bulging muscles? Do you think the only appropriate attire for women is hardly any at all? Do you not mind watching a film with an aimless plot, implausible transitions, incorrect sound effects, and wasted characters? Does the sight of the charismatic The Rock's lifted eyebrow make you call for your smelling salts? Does seeing the name of Vince McMahon as the executive producer provoke excitement instead of dread?

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If you answered an emphatic "yes" to these questions then pre-pay for your own personal copy of "The Scorpion King" so that your viewing pleasures may be continually nourished.

I now group the amiable The Rock with Jean-Claude Van Damme instead of Arnold Schwarzenegger as guys I'd rather watch bantering on a talk show than sit through one of their movies.

-- Fawna Jones, mom

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