‘17 diapers’ story sparks talk about postpartum depression; local therapist shares important insights

A flustered mother who recently posted on TikTok that she found 17 undisposed dirty diapers in her household has sparked a viral discussion about the pressures new mothers face. The story has brought widespread anecdotal awareness to postpartum depression.

“My 17 diapers” has become a rallying cry for mothers to share their challenges and experiences with mental health challenges and perceived “failures” during their early motherhood experiences.

Postpartum depression can be diagnosed for new mothers up to a year after the baby is born. The National Institutes of Health says that PPD is a mood disorder that affects approximately 10-15% of adult mothers. Of those, as many as half have depressive symptoms lasting beyond six months after giving birth.

The Southeast Missourian reached out to the Community Counseling Center to find out more about postpartum depression and things new mothers should know about the disorder. The CCC put a reporter in contact with Tricia Hodges, a licensed clinical social worker and outpatient therapist. Hodges has been with the CCC for 14 years. She’s also a mother of 4-year-old twins and a 17-month-old.

Tricia HodgesSubmitted

Q: Can you talk about the things that lead to postpartum depression? It seems like it's depression, but there's this added element of just having a baby. So, what are the physical and mental pieces that come together to cause this type of depression?

A: It can be based on a lot of things, you know, history of depression, but also your whole world has just changed. And a lot of moms don't consider that, don't consider themselves and are so focused on doing everything right when they can't do everything that they used to do. They get overwhelmed, they feel bad about themselves, about it and it leads to some pretty tough feelings.

I think it is important to normalize talking about it, especially if you're having thoughts of hurting yourself or hurting someone else, not being afraid to seek judgment from providers. We just want to help you take care of yourself so you can take care of the baby the best that you can. I think there's just so much pressure on new moms, and the pressures that they put on themselves makes it more difficult and there's lots of things that they can do to help with that.

Q: You mentioned thoughts of self-harm or harm to others. Are there any other thoughts or feelings that should be a trigger for a new mother to seek mental health support?

A: Depressed mood, especially if it lasts over two weeks. Postpartum depression can be diagnosed at any point within the first year. So, sometimes they've been OK for a while, and then these feelings hit. They can't concentrate; feelings of worthlessness or guilt; sleep disturbances; things like that. I think those should be indicators that, “Hey, I need to reach out. I'm not myself. I'm crying a lot, isolating, just feeling down.”

Q: Obviously, therapy is a piece of this. What are some general things beyond therapy that might help?

A: So, beyond therapy, I think it's important for moms to work on not judging themselves. For example, recognizing judgmental statements and replacing those things with facts. So instead of saying, “I'm a bad mom. My house is gross”, replace those kinds of thoughts with like, “I'm tired, and I'm overwhelmed, and I'm doing the best I can.” I think it's important to think about the future. Will it matter in a year if I left some dishes in the sink? Will it matter if the laundry is piled up on the couch? No. Will it matter if I snuggled, fed and changed my baby? Yes. I always tell moms give yourself grace — your world just changed. The years are short. Everything is temporary. It's not going to be like this forever.

I think it's important to connect with other moms. Also accepting help from others is huge. And then in therapy, there are just different treatments that can help, too. (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) CBT is huge. CBT focuses on identifying your unhelpful thoughts and behaviors and can help you change those automatic negative thoughts and replace them with more helpful thinking patterns, and also recognizing, you know, when it might be time to get evaluated for medications can also be important.

Q: What are some things that can make the condition worse? Or some things to try to avoid?

A: Things that make the condition worse, obviously alcohol or drug use. I mean, you want to avoid any sort of mood-altering substance like that. There are environmental factors such as lack of support, and also, just, you know, a history of mental health disorders can make things worse.

Q: Can troubles with breastfeeding be an issue?

A: Yes. That is an issue. There's so much pressure on breastfeeding, especially when you're in the hospital, there's so much pressure put on it. Moms just need to do what they feel comfortable with, and it's hard if you want to breastfeed, it's hard. It's important to, like, reach out for support with that. You can seek help from a lactation consultant, or you can know that it's OK. If you don't want to breastfeed, it's OK. But I think there are a lot of pressures put on moms to breastfeed.

Q: Most moms are in relationships. Everybody’s life in the household is turned upside down when there’s a new life brought into it. What are some things to keep in mind when dealing with your partner, first from the mom’s perspective?

A: I think it's important, I don't know, to try to see everybody's perspective, not attack the other partner. You know, come at it in a respectful way, you know, share like, hey, “I really liked it when you helped me with this. Or, this was really helpful for me”. Things for the partner, I think it’s important for them to recognize the signs if your partner is seeming more depressed and is not able to function appropriately. It’s important for them to ask them, “Hey, are you OK? What can I do?”

Q: What can extended family do?

A: Just come over, come over. Help. You know, they can help pick up. Help bring meals and things like that, or just, just to talk to you, to be there for you. Sometimes, a mom is just alone with her baby in those first weeks. It might feel kind of isolating, kind of like alone, and just having someone else there is helpful, and someone else, you know, and they can be helping, doing your dishes while you're holding your baby, you know, things like that, and it's important to accept that help. I think it's hard for a lot of new moms to accept the help from others, because they're so used to doing it all, thinking that they're supposed to do it all, and just recognizing, hey, it doesn't have to be like that.

Q: Do you have a “17 diapers” story?

A: I don't know. I was really overwhelmed with my twins. I was fortunate to have a lot of family support. It was important for me to accept that help from others, and it was important for me to let some stuff go, let the laundry go, let the dishes go. Everything is temporary, right?