Safe House of Southeast Missouri: A lifeline for abuse victims in crisis

Domestic violence is a public health crisis that plays out in silence and shadows, under long sleeves and behind sunglasses.

It affects victims’ minds and bodies. It devastates families. And the trauma it produces occurs in relationships regardless of culture, race, religion or socioeconomic status. Yet the issue is not often discussed unless it plays out through the legal process, if it ever comes to that.

Many victims are afraid to speak. Many fear leaving their abusers; some — including children and the elderly — are unable to defend themselves.

Safe House of Southeast Missouri is the primary local organization that helps abuse victims when they reach their breaking point. Even it operates with a certain amount of anonymity, as it’s not publicly disclosed, for safety reasons, where the boarding facility is located.

October is National Domestic Violence Awareness Month. The Safe House is coming off its largest fundraising event of the year — the VintageNOW Fashion Show, which raised $169,500 in net proceeds. The increasingly popular event also elevates the Safe House’s mission and profile into the public eye.

Domestic abuse, however, happens year-round and perpetually across the country.

The National Institutes of Health estimates that family and domestic health violence affects 10 million people every year in the United States. That’s 36 times more people than those who are diagnosed with breast cancer annually. That’s 3.6 million more people than are involved in vehicle crashes. You’d need 217 facilities the size of Busch Stadium to hold all of the abused people.

The NIH states that as many as one in four women and one in nine men are victims of domestic violence. But only a fraction of domestic abuse cases are brought to the attention of authorities.

For example, Safe House of Southeast Missouri provided criminal justice support and advocacy contacts to more than 800 abuse victims last fiscal year; it provided 985 adults and 73 children with individual counseling sessions. Its hotline took 967 calls. But the Cape Girardeau Police Department reported 312 domestic violence victims in 2023; the Cape Girardeau County Sheriff’s Office counted 74; Jackson counted 94; and the Bollinger County reported 47, all numbers derived from a Missouri online crime database. Those numbers indicate that perhaps a majority of victims do not seek criminal accountability for their abusers. And the Safe House numbers do not represent all abuse victims, only those who reach out and receive services.

Safe House has grown over the years. The organization provides many services, but as its name implies, it is most known for its housing facility. The boarding facility, which is almost always near full capacity, can hold 32 people after an expansion in 2019; and it can house more than just women. For example, it’s set up in such a way that teenage boys can stay without triggering fears for women recently abused by men; it’s also handicap accessible. The Safe House sometimes provides housing to elderly abuse victims who can be susceptible to abuse because of their physical limitations.

In 2023, the Safe House opened a new outreach facility and thrift shop at 2350 Independence in Cape Girardeau.

Jessica Hill, who has been with the Safe House organization for 10 years in different capacities and is the current executive director, said she has seen the number of hotline calls more than double during her tenure. But there is a silver lining to that data: more people are becoming aware that help exists for abuse victims.

Jessica Hill, executive director of the Safe House of Southeast MissouriSubmitted

“I think we’re seeing three things,” Hill said. “I definitely believe that domestic violence is on the rise. … Two, is there’s greater awareness of the Safe House in our community and the services we provide. And then three is the fact that we have increased our capacity very intentionally over the last 10 years, and so we’re able to help. And so I think that’s those all combined to show that our numbers continue to grow.”

• Safe House provides a number of services beyond the immediate housing needs of abused women. It also provides:
• Court advocacy services, such as assistance with ex parte or protection orders
• Case management support, such as health case management support sessions; substance use recovery sessions, emergency clothing vouchers and financial assistance
• Mental health and counseling services
• Transitional plans for abused victims to strategically plan their exit from an abusive situation

With financial assistance from the United Way, the Safe House also oversees an educational program that sends educators into schools to talk about healthy relationships. It also is involved in a “batterers intervention program”, a 26-week course over six months that works with offenders to give them guidance and tools to eliminate abuse from their behaviors. Hill said all offenders need accountability, but many experienced abuse themselves. She said offenders cannot end their probation or parole until they have completed the program.

“So we’re trying to hit every aspect of it,” she said. “We want to prevent it, we want to treat it, and then we want to prevent it from happening again.”

One of the most outspoken advocates of the Safe House, and of domestic violence awareness in general, is Leslie Washington.

Leslie Washington, activist and advocate for domestic violence supportSubmitted

Washington has become a vocal activist against gun violence, but her personal story stemmed from domestic abuse she endured over nine years.

“I am grateful for the Safe House, because without them, I wouldn't be sitting here today,” Washington said. “And they were just very respectful. It was a no-judgment zone when I was going through my divorce. They helped me file my divorce. They helped me get an ex parte order and put that in place. So they were just very helpful, and it was very comforting to be there. Of course, I had to put in the work, go to counseling, go to the group meetings, do what I needed in order for them to help me. So anytime that I can do stuff for the Safe House, I'm always willing to pay it forward, because they helped me. And I just want to say to Jessica and her team, thank you very much.”

Washington’s abuse reached its boiling point when her husband repeatedly punched her in the face, saying he was going to kill her, while they were in their vehicle. He broke her orbital bone near her eye. He also destroyed her phone with a hammer. She credits her medical caretakers at DePaul Hospital for treating her with respect and for giving her the confidence to leave her husband.

Though she lived in St. Louis, she found the Safe House through a Google search. She’s lived in Cape Girardeau ever since she arrived here in 2013.

“I called the Safe House, and they were like, we have a bed. I said, well, I need to have a doctor's appointment Monday morning because I need to see if I have to have any type of eye surgery or anything. … So they told me what I needed to do, to go to the Greyhound station. I tell them, you know, what was going on. And I was able to go to the house and get some stuff and leave. I got on that Greyhound, and I never looked back.”

Washington wants to make sure that abuse victims know that they can escape and recover, and find rewarding lives on their own after leaving a relationship.

The 57-year-old is nearing a degree at Southeast Missouri State University in mass media and media management and a minor in sports management. She also serves in a leadership role in a local chapter of Moms Demand Action for Gun Sense in America; and she serves on Cape Girardeau’s Gun Violence Task Force. She is undecided where she wants to land after she completes her degree. But she gets great satisfaction knowing she was able to finish her degree after all she’s been through.

“People ask me, are you ever scared sharing your story?” she said. “I say no, because I feel if somebody is reading my article or seeing my interview, or just watching me, they can see that she's persevered and that she's gotten through this. So I feel that God is using me to share my story with others, because a lot of times, people don't want to talk about it. They're embarrassed, they're ashamed, they're like, why is this happening to me?”

The Safe House of Southeast Missouri is funded mostly through grants. The organization administers about 16 grants at a time. It receives funding through HUD, the Department of Public Safety, and the Department of Social Services. It receives local funding from Cape Girardeau and Bollinger County through court fees and marriage license fees. The city governments in Cape Girardeau, Jackson and Scott City also contribute. The Safe House also generates funds through its thrift store and through the Vintage Now Fashion Show.