May 31, 2005

Dear Amber,

While this section of the paper is generally regarded as the "Voices of 2morrow," I thought it might be appropriate to hear from a "Voice of yesterday" as you prepare to leave home for college.

For the last year, you have shared the ups and downs, victories and defeats and life lessons with the readers of your column. While it's not always great to have the inner workings of your family life published in the newspaper, it has been an excellent exercise for you, and I continually hear from people who enjoy your writing.

I've had the last 18-plus years to impart my wisdom and understanding to you. But with the time rapidly approaching when you will move to "The Lou," I wanted to take one last public attempt to reiterate my parental advice. Here, in no particular order, are some items of interest that you should think about while going off to college:

* Every knockdown is not a knockout. While it's nice to win or get what you want, life is full of times when growth comes from not being successful. Learn from your mistakes and capitalize on life's curve balls.

* Moderation is the key to everything. Keeping perspective is difficult at times. Focused people sometimes live with blinders on; don't make the mistake of missing out on small aspects of our existence.

* Keep your faith. The existence of God is a wonderful staple of our human existence. Know that it is not by chance that you have become the person that you are with the opportunities that you have before you. Continue to pursue a faith walk, and you will always find contentment in life.

* Remember that a good ball fake will always get larger players off the ground inside around the basket.

* Be passionate about a cause. Continue in the service tradition that you encountered at Notre Dame, and find a cause to support. Whether that cause is for social, not-for-profit, or church-related activities, you will always be a better person by giving of yourself.

* Mind your manners. While it might seem corny and contrite, using phrases such as sir, ma'am, please and thanks will earn you respect in an older world.

* Be a great friend. While you have made many close friends in high school, the relationships you form in college will follow you throughout your life.

* Don't chase boys! Mr. Right will find you without you having to pursue him. (This bit of advice should be shared with your sister as well!)

* Become a Great Gorlock! While most folks don't know that the Gorlock is the mascot of Webster University, you should proudly represent your new school with as much dedication as you did while you were a Bulldog. You'll be a great addition to the Lady Gorlock basketball team.

* Your gift will make room for itself. While you don't know what your ultimate profession or calling will be, know that you are truly talented, and you will find your place in life.

Whadda ya say, blue???

Lastly, know that your mother and I love you dearly. I remember dropping you off at the first day of kindergarten, little white dress with big red polka dots, pigtails flying. You were such a little figure going out into the big world. There was a sudden realization that you could not be protected from everything from that moment on.

You cut a larger, more beautiful figure now, but the world still seems just as big. You've given us, as your parents, a wonderful ride through all your games and activities. You've set high standards for your sister and brother. Know that no matter where you go or what you do that you are loved by your family. We are very proud of you.

Dad

Clint Karnes is the father of three children and the senior branch leader at Wood & Huston Bank in Cape Girardeau. His oldest daughter, Amber, has been a contributor to the Southeast Missourian's Class of 2morrow section in the past school year.