ACTIVITIES BRING FAMILIES TOGETHER

Some families spend their Saturdays at the soccer fields. Other parents rush one child to practice, drop another at a friend's house and squeeze in an errand or two on the way.

Life today is nothing like those 1950s era sitcoms where mothers greeted their children at the door, asked about school and families sat down for meals together. Today, families are being pulled in so many different directions that it's difficult even to eat a meal together or catch up on the day's events.

There are games to watch, practices to attend, assignments to finish.

Meanwhile, experts blame a lack of family togetherness for juvenile delinquency, broken homes and a decline in social values.

Parents sometimes lose sight of why they stay so busy and it takes a reminder from their children, a local mental health expert says.

"When you can get them to admit it, time together is more important than the stuff," said Claire Watson of the Community Counseling Center.

"When we look back, work isn't going to be one of the things we wish we had done more of," she said. "Spending time with the family is."

Day for the family

Many local families are starting to add a "family day" to their calendars as a remedy to the rush.

The Heuer family of Cape Girareau tries to spend as much time together as possible, whether it's spent attending church, planning a family meal or just relaxing outdoors.

Many times the family spends their time together on horseback. Jeff Heuer has been riding since he was 18. His wife, Sara, learned to ride when the couple started dating. Now the two have shared their hobby with their children, Clint, 7, and Brett, 5.

The time on horseback is special and offers the children a chance to build rapport with other adult riders, Sara Heuer said.

"It helps build their self esteem," she added. "Riding together puts us on the same playing field, and I think that's important."

Multiple generations

Neither Clint nor Brett participate in many sports, so their parents aren't often standing on the sidelines. They ride together both locally and in shows. Clint is diabetic and the family rides together in a benefit show for the Juvenile Diabetes Founation.

Often, multiple generations of a family only gather on special occassion and holidays. For the most part, the Cotner family gets together monthly for communion at West Side Church of God.

When they can't, they share communion together as a family at least once each year. The Rev. Jon Rehbein, church pastor, meets with members of the congregation in their homes for communion.

"We share the past year's events, our hopes for the future and what communion means to us as a family," said Glenice Cotner. Music, candles and prayer enhance the worship time. This is a special event for Cotner because her parents, children and grandchildren are all able to participate in the service.

A long tradition

"This has been a tradition in my ministry over the years," said Rehbein. "It's a personal time for us to say how much we love and appreciate each other."

Even for families that don't always express their love in words, activities can offer an outlet. There are a variety of ways that families can keep in touch bowling, ice skating, shopping, a walk or just a meal together once a week.

The Walter family in Cape Girardeau tries to set aside each Saturday for an activity, but things have gotten a little tricky now, said Jon Walter, an eighth-grader at Central Junior High School.

Walter's father, retired from the military, is pursuing another career. His mother just started a new job. When the family has been able to spend the day together, it's not always chock full of activities. Sometimes it's something simple like going out to a restaurant for dinner or just renting a video.

"It makes me feel good when we get to spend time with each other," Jon Walter said.