Being where we need to be

Have you ever thought your life was too ordinary and drab? A few years ago I thought mine fit that description. I dreamed impossible dreams, dreams where I could remain on the mountaintop forever. Eventually I learned the futility of that desire and acquired new wisdom as I matured. I discovered what genuinely constituted a life of value and contentment.

As I grew up on our family farm in Southeast Missouri, it seemed the summers, especially, were long, hot and boring. Although our family enjoyed picnics, swimming and other activities during the summer, life often seemed like a never-ending series of rising in the morning, performing the usual repetitive chores and retiring at night. It appeared so "daily" and insignificant. Even though I attended church regularly, I failed to realize the value of our life. We had love and good times, particularly around the dinner table.

Later, I experienced other ways of living that also became routine and monotonous. I wondered why I couldn't find a way to live on top of the mountain all the time.

When my husband and I became parents, I envisioned an exciting life where I would be the perfect mom with a beautiful home and cute kids. I pictured having friends over at least once a week for dinner where I could show my abilities as a grand hostess. My house would look like one portrayed in popular women's magazines, decked out with the artistry of an interior decorator. What images of grandeur, and perfection lurked within my mind!

But just as my upbringing on the farm seemed tedious, I found being a wife and the mother of three children could appear inconsequential, too. Often it seemed each day disappeared into the next. Rising each morning, sending my husband off to work and children to school began to lose its luster. Then it occurred to me I could remain on a mountaintop if I were in the right vocation -- one possessing less routine replication.

So I attempted various other career and vocational changes in my life, believing I had yet to arrive at my true calling. But even though I gradually came nearer to where I felt I could best serve God, everything, ultimately, became repetitious. I kept falling off the top of the mountain.

Then, one day an idea lit up within my head like a light bulb and I gained a new perspective. I pondered the fact it was the routine of life on the farm that gave me the security of things remaining the same, something young children greatly need. It was also the dailiness of care that made the crops grow and kept the livestock healthy. And the daily commitment of family upholding one another regardless of glaring flaws allowed mutual love to flourish.

As I continued thinking about routine, I realized it was the repetition of chores and obligations that allowed our children to grow into stable, educated and responsible human beings. If we had stayed on top of the mountain, the valuable things in life would have been too tiresome and repetitious to pursue.

I finally comprehended that repetition and routine are what life is all about. It's easy to run away when things become dull and unvarying, but the important point is that I stay where I'm needed and perform what God has asked me to do. Frequently, what's genuine can't root, grow and mature on the mountaintop. Valid contentment is found through using the routine -- for time with God.

Ellen Shuck is director of religious education at St. Mary's Cathedral Parish in Cape Girardeau.