While progress may be slow, progress toward ensuring equal parenting rights is moving forward in Missouri, local legislators and state activists said during a meeting Thursday night at the Concourse in Cape Girardeau.
"We have a real problem and you know it or you wouldn't be here," state Sen. Wayne Wallingford told the crowd of about 30. "The ones that really get hurt are the children. ... When you go from being a parent to a visitor, something's wrong."
The meeting was hosted by Americans For Equal Shared Parenting, a group committed to reforming the way judges award child custody after parents divorce.
State Reps. Kathy Swan of Cape Girardeau and Rick Francis of Perryville also attended the meeting. The legislators said there are plans to prefile at least one bill in December designed to put mothers and fathers on equal footing instead of granting mothers a prefunctory advantage. The bill -- which will be a revised version of one previously submitted -- would seek to impose "rebuttable presumption of equally shared parenting," requiring judges to begin with the presumption both parents are "fit and willing," explained Linda Reutzel, the state chairwoman for the National Parents Organization.
Lawyer Kenneth Goins urged patience.
"[This struggle] has been going on since the '80s," he said. "It's slow ... but you can make a difference in your children's lives and in their children's."
He said when he began practicing law in 1990, the "every other weekend with one night during the week and alternating holidays" model was accepted as the status quo.
"As a society, that's what we thought was fair," he said, adding that prevailing view has changed.
Jeremy Roberts, leader of the Missouri Fathers' Rights Movement, said the problems facing divorced fathers -- and by extension, extended family members -- are so prevalent one of the most efficacious tactics at the local level is just starting conversations with neighbors.
"Most people don't even know this is going on," he said, adding that whenever he brings it up in conversation, people are either dismissive or shocked. "We have to have discussions. ... It's important you have a voice."
Reutzel gave an overview of what she said is a growing body of research indicating the importance of shared parenting strategies on children's mental health.
When fathers have the opportunity to be more involved in children's lives, she said, it not only improves the relationship between the child and father, but between the child and mother as well by lessening overall stress.
Swan called the prevalence of homes where children are raised without a father "a crisis in our nation," and pledged to continue legislative efforts.
"It's imperative we stay focused," she said. "Focused on what's best for our children. ... It's time we do the right thing for our Missouri children."
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