Discovering your niche in life

Have you ever wondered "Where is my niche in life?" Nearly everyone has questioned where they fit in. It seems some people possess outstanding gifts that are obvious, and others attempt for years to find their talents. During a recent conversation with a friend, Jenny, I gained a new perspective about what I offer the world.

Jenny and I were jokingly talking about childhood memories. We both grew up on farms and could relate to various situations.

That particular morning, some dairy farmers brought a cow to an adjoining school for the children to learn about. Jenny and I remarked we knew all about cows and milking.

However, neither of us was efficient at milking a cow with or without milking machines. In fact, Jenny related she was so incompetent around the barn that, as a child, when she went down to the barn to help her dad, he would gently send her back to the house to help her mom. In like fashion, when Jenny attempted to help her mother she would say, "Honey, I think your dad needs you at the barn." Consequently, Jenny felt her talents must lie elsewhere.

"I never seemed to fit in anywhere," she said. "So I figured my niche must be somewhere between the house and the barn."

That story is amusing, but much pain is contained in such tales. How often does one feel he has little to contribute because he's in the wrong setting or lacks the opportunity to develop his potential?

Evidently Jenny and I didn't excel at farm tasks. I never understood why anyone chose to toil in dirt and inclement weather rather than in a comfortable inside environment. Like Jenny, I was simply unfit for farm life and hoped my niche, too, was elsewhere.

As I matured and accomplished some of my goals, particularly those of having a spouse, home and children, I thought I had finally found my place. However, I later felt the urge to search again for "a different niche." I found a new fit in the spiritual realm.

God truly calls us into new vocations when we've outgrown our present surroundings -- sometimes people -- and met his challenges. He summons us through our conscience, Scripture, words of others, nature, our desires or circumstances presented to us.

God closes outmoded doors and opens new ones. "No one can receive anything except what has been given from heaven," says John 3:27. One needs to pay attention to hidden meanings and possess the faith to follow his heart.

Why aren't people aware of their gifts and contributions to life? Reasons vary.

Sometimes one's never been assured of his value. Often peers are envious and fear their loss of prestige if they praise someone else's abilities. Or it's assumed one's already aware of his talents and importance, so there's no need to reaffirm his endowments.

As Jenny and I continued our conversation on a more serious note, she shared that her father finally helped her recognize her niche in life.

While she visited him in the nursing home they discussed life's purpose on earth. She remarked she was 40 years old and hadn't discovered where she fit. Fortunately her father was an insightful man and replied: "Honey, your niche in life is that of bringing joy to others, just by your presence. You have a way of lifting people's spirits and adding to their happiness. If you could radiate the joy you bring to others onto yourself, you would be content."

His remark changed her life.

Although her niche wasn't apparent to her, Jenny's dad noticed and, most importantly, told her.

Wow! After hearing her story I vowed I would remember to always reassure others of their giftedness so they, too, would know their niche.

Ellen Shuck is director of religious education at St. Mary's Cathedral Parish in Cape Girardeau.