Doing nothing but doing it legally

Hey, guess what, readers? I'm 18 now and that finally means I'm "of age!"

Let's go to a classy strip joint, buy some cigarettes, and then go to an awesome club! Oh wait, that's right. I don't smoke and none of that exists around here. Looks like I'll be stuck doing what I used to do back in the day when I was 17. That includes driving aimlessly around my little town and randomly stopping people to ask them what the night's plans are.

(Rolling window down) "So what's going on tonight?" I'll ask.

"Nothing. This town is so boring. I can't wait to get out of here," they'll reply.

Afterward, we share a mutual laugh over our boredom and then drive away.

That's when it usually strikes me how sad and pointless that conversation was.

For some reason, I used to think that if I got home before midnight on the weekends, I was missing some huge party. I've come to realize that those huge parties never happened and that being home by 10:30 to watch "Saturday Night Live" with the folks isn't so bad after all.

"What a loser," you're thinking as you sit there looking at your empty gas tank. Where'd the gas go? Oh! You must have been wasting it on the Oran cruise route.

There's usually one major sign that I've hit rock bottom on the weekends. It's when I'm driving in the car and actually laughing at the DJs' jokes on the radio.

So I've concluded that reaching age 18 has had no bonuses, especially here in Missouri.

Getting older isn't great at all in fact. Remember getting your license at 16 and driving everywhere you possibly could, even to pick up some bread for the folks? You just felt the need to be cool behind the wheel of a car, whether it was your own or your mom's minivan. Now I wish driving had never been invented and that magic carpets were the main way of travel. Just imagine the luxury of simply saying, "My house," and it would promptly take you back to your house while you took a nap.

Don't get me wrong. Oran's a great town, just not the capital of excitement.

Well, now that I've hit this age, it's time to wise up and do something with my life. Maybe I'll become an inventor, help explore Mars or finish my math homework. Either way, that doesn't solve the fun factor.

I guess I'll just watch "Aladdin." Hey, it'll give me something to do on the weekend instead of wasting gas. Plus, it's got a magic carpet. I'll get a taste of both worlds.

Sam DeReign is a senior at Oran High School. Contact him at sdereign@semissourian.com.