Essays from our readers

"Jesus, help us" was all I could mutter to myself. I'll never forget the stillness of that day. I didn't know what to expect next. It took from me that feeling of total security that I had known all my life in being an American. My country was wounded; like the innocence taken from a child. I cried from a place from where tears had never come. I still pledge allegiance to a flag that has never looked more beautiful through my tears.Vicki Ramsey-Winschel

Cape Girardeau

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What has really changed is my attitude and what I think about. Since Sept. 11 the world seems smaller to me. I feel a sense of brotherhood and a deeper appreciation for other countries that regularly experience random bombings and violent assaults. I find myself imagining how I would respond if I were personally involved in a terrorist attack. ... I notice that I take time to be friendlier to people I meet in public, like in check-out lines or in traffic, and I see that in others, too. ... They say we'll never be the same again. For me, maybe that's not all bad.

Sherri Mehner

Cape Girardeau

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My husband is a firefighter for the East County Fire Protection District, and the thought of him being buried in that rubble shakes my soul on a daily basis. Of course, I worry about him when I see him running into a raging fire with 75 pounds of gear on, but I always know he's just doing his job. I consider him a volunteer hero. ... Prior to Sept. 11, you never saw T-shirts or pictures of firefighters doing what they do everyday. Why should people have to die to be appreciated?

Danielle Boyd

Cape Girardeau

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What I got on Sept. 11 was a rude awakening. I really had no idea we were such a hated country. It burst the happy little bubble surrounding my world as it also did many others. I have learned to appreciate even more the family and friends that I have. I have realized that because of the freedoms we have, we are a despised nation. This may not seem like a positive thing, but the lesson I have taken from Sept. 11 is how easily hate can turn into murder and how important it is to learn to deal with other people's beliefs and lifestyles that differ from our own.Renee Bennett

Cape Girardeau

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Sept. 11 was a wake-up call for the U.S.A., the world and me. Life is so uncertain. I am now attempting to live each day to the fullest because you never know if you have tomorrow. Each day at least once, I say "thank you" to God for all He has given me. ... Do I resent that this happen on my birthday? No, I resent that it happened at all. Now my day of birth will be remembered as a day of sadness, unspeakable horror and great loss. There'll be no birthday celebration this year -- maybe in time, but not this year.Carolyn Thomas

Thebes, Ill.

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In order to make themselves feel more secure (Americans) demanded tighter security in public places, and they demanded systems to be put in place that would monitor our everyday lives in order to protect us from others. The problem is that, in the process of gaining more "security," we have begun to sacrifice the rights that have made America such an amazing place ... Benjamin Franklin once said, "Those that are willing to sacrifice a small amount of their freedom for security will find they have neither."Nigel Vorbrich

Notre Dame High School

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I grew up one mile from the World Trade Center and went to many dinners, proms and special events at Windows of the World Restaurant, located at the very top of the World Trade Center. Needless to say, the tragedy that occurred on Sept. 11 greatly affected me. ... What impressed me the most that day and the days to follow was the reaction of our student body and the Notre Dame community. Immediately students came to my office to inquire about my family and the students in our schools in New York. These same students quickly told me we needed a prayer service to place our school and the world in the hands of God. ... I always knew that the Midwest and Notre Dame were special places, but on Sept. 11, I truly understood why this is called the Heartland of America.Brother David Anthony Miglioino OSF

Notre Dame High School

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I don't understand what reason Osama bin Laden had to do this. His careless acts of violence made me ask myself, "Where was God on Sept. 11?" It shocked my faith in God a little. ... Religion is not an excuse to kill people; it is supposed to bring you closer to God. I don't think bin Laden's evil acts will help him in his relationship with Allah.

Alison Bollinger

Notre Dame High School

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The way I feel about this whole situation is that I feel kind of sad that all the people had been killed or also had been injured. I would like to thank the president of the United States of America for fighting back for America to let them know that we can fight back and we will not chicken out. They haven't seen our bad side yet. When they push us to our bad side, we will take them down. We'll show them that America fights back.David Dodd

Nell Holcomb School

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There are many historical questions asked of people from different generations. "Where were you when you found out the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor?" "Where were you when Kennedy was shot?" "Where were you when you found out the Challenger exploded?" I never understood how people could remember the details of dates so long ago. Now I do. My generation's question will be, "Where were you on Sept. 11?" and I will be able to answer. Although no one close to me was physically endangered that day, the sorrow, the details and the pure terror will forever be burned on my brain and in my heart.Carmen Smith,

Jackson, Mo.

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There is not a day that goes by that I don't pray for the men and women serving in our military, police and fire departments, protecting our freedom, and helping us both at home and abroad. I never really did that before. I took them for granted. I am sad that we have to be at war. I realize that we may never be at peace until we are able to punish those responsible for the tragedy on Sept. 11 and only pray that we do not lose many American lives in the process. I never realized before all of this that I, like so many people, took freedom for granted. I know now that freedom is not free. Patricia Martin

Cape Girardeau

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I no longer have the 1950s feeling of being separated from the rest of the world. Before the attack on the twin towers in New York, I thought of people outside of my little world here as different and less real. Now the world seems a lot smaller and the threats closer. I worry more about my children and grandchildren than I ever did back in the '70s and '80s when I had small children. I have concerns about dangers that might have seemed impossible before but now seem very possible. Being in a small town no longer makes a person safe.Diane Morrow

Scott City, Mo.

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I'm mad! And, I'm saddened. I am determined not to change my travel plans. I refuse to give up any of my individual freedom. I am angry at the Muslim community in the U.S. and around the world for not more vigorously condemning the terrorist acts. I was widowed once, and Sept. 11 reinforced my knowledge that life can change drastically in an instant. ... I trust our country's positive reaction to this devastating tragedy will teach us how to live well, how to prioritize our time, how to be happy, how to love.Joan Slaughter

Cape Girardeau

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On 9/11, on the 104th floor of the World Trade Center, my cousin lost his life when the first plane hit. It was days, though, before we realized that he had been killed. The realization came slowly, as our hope was chipped away, bit by bit. A bond trader for Cantor-Fitzgerald, Mike Taylor, age 42, had just gotten engaged over Labor Day weekend. He had worked hard for many of the material things that many of us think we want, but I know Mike's memory lives in the moments he made with loved ones, not the things. Since 9/11 I am haunted by the instant message he sent to a colleague in Chicago: "There's been an explosion here ... No kidding." ... Since 9/11 I have wondered every day if my husband might soon be leaving for unknown parts and an indeterminate length of time. My husband is a Marine Corps Reservist with headquarters staff at First Marine Division, and a veteran of Panama, Desert Storm and Somalia. ... I feel I am incredibly lucky that I am married to a man who stood up to be the "somebody else." And I am glad my three children have that kind of example for a father.Andrea Schneider

Cape Girardeau

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On the morning of Sept. 11, my sister called and asked how close to the World Trade Center my oldest daughter worked. Kadie, who was 23 at the time, works for a publishing company in New York City. I had just been to visit Kadie in May and remembered walking everywhere with her ... but I couldn't remember how close her office was to the World Trade Center. I turned on the news and saw that a plane had just hit the World Trade Center. As I watched the smoke billowing out of the tower the phone rang again and it was Kadie. She didn't know what was happening at the time but wanted to let me know that she was safe. ... Still to this day Kadie says she cringes when she hears a plane going over the city. As for me, I have had to come to terms with Kadie living so far away and being so close to the dangers of terrorist attacks.Cecelia Boos

Cape Girardeau

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I wondered why someone would hate the country so much that they flew a plane into the country's proudest and most inhabited building. Then I heard that the perpetrators were Muslim terrorists from the Middle East. I had heard of their hatred of Christians and America before. ... We will never defeat all the terrorists of the world. With every one eliminated, there's a thousand more willing to die for their ultra-destructive beliefs. There's nothing we can do. Now that's scary.Jared Powell

Kelly High School

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"Red, brown, yellow, black and white. All are precious in his sight." Words from an age-old children's song repeated throughout my childhood. Words that flowed from my memory with ease -- until Sept. 11. Suddenly I realized that I wanted to attach a disclaimer to the song: combination of dark skin, dark hair and dark eyes excluded. I was surprised to feel the advent of prejudice. ... It sprang from the TV screen as I watched the twin towers fall and pictures of dark-skinned men with dark hair and dark eyes appear. Suddenly the simplicity of a child's song seemed profound. "Jesus loves the little children. All the children of the world. Red, brown, yellow, black, and white." The key word is "all." Although terrorists may not cherish "all" life, I do. I no longer resent the months I felt the presence of prejudice. I suppose I needed to sample the foundation of hate. I did, and it forced me to re-evaluate who I am and what I believe.Wilma Lee Kincy

Jackson, Mo.

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Since I was a little girl my mother has told me she remembered exactly what she was doing when President Kennedy was shot. I'll be able to tell my sons the same in regard to Sept. 11, 2001. ... My heart ached for the children whose parents would never come home, for the husbands, wives, girlfriends, boyfriends who would never see their partners again. I held my family closer that day and for many more days to come, realizing just how precious our lives really are. I grieved for the victims, their families, and our country. As the information continued to flow through the media, my grief mingled with the intense anger I felt for the terrorists and who they represent. Both feelings continue to this day.Jennifer Johnson

Jackson, Mo.

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One of the things I first noticed when I moved to New York City was that, at any given time, it was very possible to hear three or four different languages being spoken around me on the streets. The New York that I stepped off the plane to greet two years ago was a city rich with diversity. It was at once both powerful and carefree, full of optimism and pride. Sept. 11 definitely changed the city, and it changed me. It is not possible that I will ever forget watching the towers burn or the feeling I had of being part of that crowd on the sidewalk that morning, all staring up open-mouthed. ... Then came the tourists--they began coming in droves to see the remains of the World Trade Center. Many New Yorkers bristled. ... I felt this way until a friend of mine from high school came to visit that winter. She stayed at my apartment and, though I refused to accompany her, on her second day was getting her camera ready to go to Ground Zero. I asked, somewhat haughtily, why she would want to go, and she answered, "This is American history, I want to see it." ... I still didn't totally understand, but I could accept that other point of view. In more ways than one, that's what I took from that day: a deeper respect for other points of view.Arkadia DeLay

New York City

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How did Sept. 11 make my life different? I hate to admit that it was not by any major physical difference. I do pray more, but there is a nagging feeling that there should be something more, that I am not doing enough to recognize this horrible thing that happened to our nation. ... We are heeding our President's advice to go on living our lives as before, trying to keep American values, and not letting the terrorists spook us. ... We must remember that we are in a lengthy war with worldwide terrorism, whether we can see it or not.Dolly Dambach

Jackson, Mo.