FATHER'S DAY MEANS EXTRA LOVE TO SHARE FOR FOSTER DAD

Randy Armes is a foster father, and this Father's Day he will share not only the love of his own children, but that of a foster child, Julie, as well.

Julie, 8, was mum about a gift for her foster father. "I got him something," she said, "but I'm not telling."

Julie said her foster father does special things for her. "He takes me places, to stores to buy clothes and food," she said. "Sometimes, he takes us to the park, where he sits and watches us play."

Armes, a Jackson resident, has a full-time job, where he works 10 to 12 hours four days a week as a route sales representative for Aramark Uniform Services.

Armes and his wife Joanne, who is a full-time wife and mother, have been foster parents for four years. Julie is the sixth foster child they've taken into their home.

The Armes have four children of their own: Tracy, 19; Misty, 16; Mindi, 7; and Adam, 6.

Armes' children think he is a good dad. Tracy, who is out of school and works in Cape Girardeau, said, "He's a good dad because he wakes up in the middle of the night and talks to me on the phone when I need someone to talk to."

Randy Armes said that he and Joanne are foster parents simply because of their love for children. "We've been richly blessed by God to be able to furnish a home for children," he said. "We just want to be able to help children to get a grip on life."

Randy Armes said that most of the kids who are in foster homes are there because they come from dysfunctional families.

"They need to learn the love of family," he said. "They need to learn the true meaning of a family unit, which means caring, sharing, working and learning discipline."

To instill these values in the foster kids they take in, Armes said, he and Joanne treat them just as they do their own children. "They get the same love, the same privileges, the same allowance and the same discipline," he said.

Joanne Armes said that so many of the foster children come from homes where there is no positive parental involvement. A boy they were caring for earlier told his teacher that the Armes went over his homework. "They really care about my homework," the boy told the teacher.

Randy Armes said that so many of the foster children don't know that parents are supposed to be involved. He believes that parents must involve themselves in their children's lives so that the children will become positive.

"I believe we've helped our foster children to become more accepted members of the community because they're better family members," he said. "They're learning to respond more in a positive way instead of negative."

The Armes had good things to say about the support they get from the public schools. "The Jackson School District is wonderful about helping foster kids, and all kids," said Joanne Armes."

And they had high praise for the people at the Division of Family Services, located in Cape Girardeau.

"They're fantastic," said Joanne Armes. "There's not a person there who's not concerned about the foster kids. You can call them day or night, even at their homes. They're generous with their time.

"This department seems like they love every child they get. The concern is there. I couldn't tell you who cares the most because they all care."

Stella Dunavin is a children's services supervisor at the Division of Family Services. She called Randy Armes an "extremely dedicated father" and said the county could use 20 more foster families like the Armes.

"We have such a need for foster families," she said, "that we're forced to pile kids onto the foster parents we do have more than we should and we burn them out."

Dunavin said that placing so many children per family "detracts from the individualized attention they are entitled to."

Dunavin said that anyone wishing to participate in the foster family program should call 290-5800. People willing to donate useful items to foster children can call the same number.

Foster parents receive a stipend for each child. For example, the rate is $259 for a child Julie's age.

But both the Armes and Dunavin say that no one should become a foster parent for the money, even though Medicaid covers medical and dental expenses.

"It's not a moneymaking project," said Randy Armes. "These kids come to us with nothing, normally. If kids are to have self esteem, you have to provide them with nice clothes, toys and their own space, so they can have something they feel is theirs. Julie has everything our kids have."

Joanne Armes said they've found that the money received doesn't cover all the child's needs.

"But you will get rich," said Randy Armes. "Just not financially."