More than 1,600 families in Missouri will feel the effects this week of legislation that cuts at least 25 percent from payments to participants in the Grandparents as Foster Parents program.

Cape Girardeau County resident Sharon Wader belongs to one of those families. Her subsidy check drops from $584 to $437 a month for two children.

Wader and her husband, Tom, both in their 50s, are raising two of their grandchildren. They've had Tiffany, 13, since she was a baby. Joey, 7, has lived with them for two years.

Wader is outraged that the state would rather pay a stranger more to raise children than their own family members. "Why is the system trying to penalize us?" she asked.

One of only 16 states that offer subsidized guardianship programs for grandparents, Missouri was one of the first not to require children to have been in state custody before being eligible. Funded by the federal Temporary Assistance for Needy Families grant, the subsidy for grandparents until now had been the same as that paid to foster parents.

That changes today.

When it started in August 1997, the program was limited to grandparents at least 55 years old and to children in financial need. The program was also limited to the Missouri Legislature's appropriation. In 1999, the Legislature expanded the eligibility.

It lowered the grandparent age to 50, allowed "other close relatives" to qualify and dropped the requirement that children be in financial need. The Legislature also removed the phrase that made the program subject to legislative appropriations.

In September 1999, the first full month after the revisions took effect, participation increased nearly 29 percent. It continued to skyrocket from 280 children in August to 2,239 children this spring. The program was labeled a budget buster.

The Legislature revamped the program this year by limiting the number of eligible grandparents, reducing the reimbursement rates for care, and making the program subject to appropriations again.

Hot hell and high water'

State Rep. Peter Myers, R-Sikeston, said the action was necessary. The bottom line is the budget couldn't support the cost, he said.

But foster parents being reimbursed at a higher rate than family members does not mean the state prefers a stranger to family.

"I understand their argument, said Myers. "But it's a little different deal when you're a grandparent." He has 11 grandchildren and a great-granddaughter himself.

Wader doesn't see it that way. The program was created to recognize grandparents' efforts as equal to that of foster parents, and then the rug was pulled out, she said.

That's an insult, especially when added to the personal heartache of whatever situation brought those children to their home, Wader said.

There is almost always heartache involved. Whether poverty, death, divorce or drugs, tragedy takes children out of their parents' home.

No matter how kind and generous foster parents are, they're still strangers, Wader said. And going into a strange home is frightening, she said.

Grandparents "are people who care about these kids so much we've hot-lined our own kids," she said. Some who've tried to rescue their grandchildren from dangerous situations have been cited and even arrested for interfering with the custody of a child.

"You go through hot hell and high waters to make sure they're safe," Wader said.

The state recognizes children are better off with family, said Janel Luck, deputy director for income maintenance at Division of Family Services. That's why the program was initiated in the first place.

"I know this is difficult if you're a grandparent," Luck said. "But keep in mind this program is new. Until just a few years ago, they didn't pay grandparents at all."

Also, the state funded the program at practically a 900 percent growth rate, which shows the confidence legislators have in it, Luck said.

Wader thinks instead of licensing more foster homes, the state should be putting that energy and money toward seeking family intervention.

Wader, a Roman Catholic, was horrified when a decade ago two of her own grandchildren were forced into foster care due to drug problems in the home. Though the Waders tried to get custody, the children were placed with a foster home.

"It's not that they were treated badly. They weren't. But that's not where they belonged," she said.

A sense of connection

Tiffany and Joey's cousins, Garrett and Gary Jr., live about two houses down the street and spend a lot of time at Grandma's house.

Placing a child in a foster home severs connections with the whole family, often needlessly, she said. Her grandchildren wouldn't be able to grow up together if two of them were in a foster home somewhere else, Wader said.

The Waders aren't rich. They added on to their single-wide mobile home in the Jackson School District when the children moved in. Both Sharon and Tom have jobs and laugh at the label "Country Club Grandparents," which some have lobbed their way.

But it still stings.

"You're never going to get rich taking someone else's children into your home," Wader said.

Some days she'd give anything to have the house to herself, Wader said. "But when they come in and hug you and kiss you goodnight, and you know they've eaten and you know they're bathed, then it's worth it."

Don't get attached'

Marian Walker, 51, raised two children of her own and also has been a foster parent. At one time she had nine children at her table for dinner at her home on the south side of Cape Girardeau. An active member at the Church of Jesus Christ, she sees caring for children as part of her calling. The wary, defeated look of the kids who came into her home broke her heart. Walker is now raising the child of one of her foster children as her own grandchild. James' mother died when he was an infant and had asked Walker to raise him.

Although she was a foster parent and happy to welcome children into her home, Walker said being a foster child is not a life she'd wish on anyone. It's the difference between grandma's love and a foster parent's care, she said.

"The first thing they tell you as a foster parent is don't get attached,'" Walker said. She got attached to James' father, who had been in foster care since he was a baby and was switched from home to home. He was almost 15 and a troubled teen-ager when he came to live with Walker.

After a child gets passed from home to home, they begin to feel disposable, Walker said.

Walker had to fight to keep James' dad in her home, but "I got him through high school." she said.

When he had a son, she accepted James as her own grandchild. James' mother died when he was 18 months old. His father couldn't care for him. His maternal grandmother was raising his two older siblings but didn't have the physical strength to take on an infant.

Walker said she maintained the family connection, and James grew up secure, knowing his family, his place in the church and in Walker's heart.

Walker receives Social Security benefits and Medicare, but she's not eligible for the Grandparents as Foster Parents program since her grandson also receives Social Security due to the death of his mother.

Still, orthodontist bills and the cost of keeping a teen-ager in food and school clothes is taxing, Walker said. If she were taking James into her home as a foster child instead of as family, her income wouldn't be an issue. Now 13 and a student at Central Junior High School, he has lived with Walker his whole life.

Living with family

The people who open their homes to children in need are special, and the service foster parents provide is valuable, Wader said. But no matter how kind and generous, foster parents are still strangers. The biggest difference, Wader and Walker agree, is a sense of connection and trust that comes with living with family.

"These kids came to us already knowing they were loved," Wader said. "They knew grandma and grandpa. They knew our home."

That difference, an inherent sense of duty toward family, may be why foster parents are reimbursed at a higher rate. Caring for family is a moral obligation. Caring for foster children is a service provided to the state.

Foster parent reimbursement rates depend upon the age of the child. The care of a child up to age 5 is reimbursed at $227 a month plus $100 monthly for foster parents who have gone through special training. People caring for older children receive larger monthly stipends.

Luck, the DFS deputy director, said she's not sure how many families will be affected by the new income cap on the grandparents program, since the DFS didn't originally require that information on client applications. Census figures project about 40 percent, or about 600 families, may be cut off.

The cap limits participants' income to 200 percent of the federal poverty level. For a household of four, that is $2,942 per month or about $35,000 a year, or for a single grandmother and grandchild, about $22,500 annually.

Reduction in the grant applies to all 1,658 participating households, Luck said. Rates vary by age of child, but the average change is from $276 per month per child to $206 per month per child for the first two children. For the third and each successive grandchild in the home, payments drop to $136 per child per month.

New payments

Modifications to participants in the Grandparents as Foster Parents program take effect today. All will receive at least 25 percent less of the current foster-care payment schedule for the first two children in their family and a flat rate of $136 per child per month for each additional child. Payments vary depending on each child's age, so numbers here are based on average payments.

First and second child

If you received $276 per month, you will receive $206 per month

Third and successive children

If you received $276 per month, you will receive $136 per month

Source: Missouri Division of Family Services.

CONFERENCE SET

WHAT: Grandparenting conference: "Making the pieces fit for today's families"

WHEN: 9 a.m. to 2:30 p.m. Tuesday, Sept. 25

WHERE: Family Life Center, Centenary United Methodist Church

COST: Free, but registration is required. Deadline is Sept. 19.

INFORMATION: Conference have several sessions appropriate both for grandparents raising children and those who would like more involvement in their grandchildren's' lives. Lunch is provided. Child care and transportation is available. To register, contact 334-1100 or 800-392-8771.