The number of children in the care of the Missouri Department of Social Services Children’s Division has grown steadily in the past three years in Cape Girardeau, Bollinger and Perry counties, surpassing the judicial district’s capacity to take care of every child.

There were 293 children in adoptive, foster, relative or group homes in 2014, according to the children’s division annual report.

That number rose to 392 in 2015 and 390 by October 2016, according to reports.

There currently are 420 children in foster care in Cape Girardeau, Bollinger and Perry counties, according to Hope Children’s Home executive director Crissy Mayberry, who obtained those numbers from the children’s division.

In the three counties, there are 65 licensed foster homes, with Cape Girardeau County having the most with 49.

Pictured from left to right, Dolly, 3, Chantelle, Bianca, 10, Solie, 8, Ari, 5, Eric and Lennyx Becking, 1, group together for a family photo with their dog Marley on Saturday, Jan. 28, 2017, at the Becking's Cape Girardeau home.Laura Simon

Foster families can have five children per home, unless they are a large family-resource home that can have 6 to 10 children to keep sibling groups together, according children’s division rules.

There also are rules for the number of children a foster family can care for younger than 5, Mayberry said.

“It’s a crisis,” Mayberry said. “All the foster families are filled to capacity.”

The children’s division and groups such as Hope Children’s Home have seen an influx of children because of a prevalence of drugs in Cape Girardeau, Bollinger and Perry County homes, Mayberry said.

Many children have been taken out of homes because of abuse or neglect, with some exposed to drugs such as methamphetamine, Mayberry said.

Chantelle Becking watches over her daughters, Ari, left, Dolly, center, and Lennyx as they play in the family room on Saturday, Jan. 28, 2017, at the Becking's Cape Girardeau home.Laura Simon

There were 122 substantiated abuse and neglect cases in the three counties in 2015, down from 129 in 2014, according to children’s division annual reports.

Children’s division has seen an increase in infants born addicted to methamphetamine and older children who have been exposed to drugs, Mayberry said.

Childhood exposure to drugs in many cases leads to developmental delays, behavioral problems, physical delays, social and emotional delays, Mayberry said. Mayberry said most of those issues are not outwardly evident.

“They’re normal kids that have gone through a tough time,” Mayberry said. “They need somebody patient and caring.”

Children’s division representatives said they could not comment because of agency rules.

Julie Tillman, who has a large family-resource home and has been a foster parent for 25 years, said many of the children she has cared for come from homes that are uninhabitable.

“The ones that really surprise me are the ones that have never been bowling or gone to the movies,” Tillman said.

Tillman generally fosters children ages 10 to 21, as many foster families prefer younger children, Tillman said.

The average age of foster children in the 32nd Judicial District is 8, according to children’s division statistics from October 2016.

“In the beginning, everybody wants babies,” Tillman said.

Older children bring a different set of concerns. Tillman had to confiscate a cellphone from an older girl because she was sending lewd photos of herself.

There are many realities of which foster parents must be aware. The goal of foster parenting is to return most children to their biological parents, Mayberry said.

Foster parents are required to attend Permanency Planning Review Team meetings with Judge Scott Lipke, the children’s division case worker, and family members of the child, Tillman said.

“The kids really get torn between foster parents and biological parents,” Tillman said.

Even after parents are awarded custody of their children, there is a chance they go back to foster care because the parents relapse, Tillman said.

“For the most part, we’ve met all the biological parents, and for the most part, they’re good people, but addiction runs their lives,” former foster parent Chantelle Becking said. “I used to have such judgments, hearing people’s stories. A lot of kids in foster care, their parents were in foster care. ... It’s so difficult to come out of that.”

Becking adopted three young girls who were former foster children.

Tillman said many foster parents do not realize the training that is necessary, they often lose money despite receiving money from the state per child, and they don’t understand the heartache of letting a child go.

“If it doesn’t break your heart, you shouldn’t be a foster parent anyway,” Becking said.

The measures of success for foster parents are different than other parents, Tillman said.

“You just hope you planted something in there,” she said. “Another foster parent said this, ‘Most of the time, success is to get that child graduated from high school and for them to not have a child.’”

Despite the trials foster parents endure, Tillman, Mayberry and Becking, who have been foster parents, said it is worthwhile.

“Being a foster parent is difficult, definitely an emotional journey, but with proper support and resources, it’s well worth it,” Mayberry said.

bkleine@semissourian.com

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