VIEW FROM HERE: MILLIONAIRE OR ONLINE DREAM, PICKING SPOUSE IS TOUGH

I wasn't among the more than 22 million people who tuned in to "Who Wants to Marry a Multimillionaire?" on Feb. 15. There was nothing about the commercials promoting this Fox television special that interested me in the least.

I only began paying attention to comments about the show after it was aired and controversy began unfolding. It seems the mystery millionaire, Rick Rockwell, may not be that rich. He's been accused of hitting and threatening to kill an ex-girlfriend. There are rumors that Rockwell, a real estate investor and former standup comedian, and the woman he chose, Darva Conger, a 34-year-old emergency room nurse, knew each other prior to the show. And this week Rockwell returned home from his honeymoon without his new wife.

But all that controversy is less interesting to me than the disgust expressed by many of those who watched the show, on which 50 women competed in a combination of "The Dating Game" and a beauty pageant to be the bride picked by a mystery millionaire. The idea of women putting their bodies and personalities on display in front of a national audience, all to marry a stranger with a little money, was lewd, wanton and bordered on prostitution, they said.

But as television watchers have proven time and again, those are exactly the characteristics that will draw viewers like a magnet. I mean the show had it all: scantily clad women, mystery, titillation, tension. That's exactly what was promoted in the commercials, and if people didn't want to see that, why did they tune in?

Perhaps it's because such shows allow people to feel morally superior: I may not be a millionaire or a tall, thin beauty, but at least I haven't sunk so low as to choose my mate from strangers or allow myself to be chosen by a stranger on national television.

Little wonder, they may be thinking, that the newlyweds seemingly didn't make it past their honeymoon.

Of course choosing mates is risky business no matter how it's done, and it's done in some pretty odd ways these days.

Think of people you hear about who meet online, falling in love without ever seeing each other. Think of people who meet through advertisements in newspapers and magazines. Think of those whose spouse is ordered through the mail from another country.

And there's nothing that says those pairings won't last just as long, won't be just as compatible and fulfilling as relationships that developed during more traditional courtships.

I've known couples who knew other, some even lived together, for years before marrying whose relationship turned sour once they tied the knot. Then there's a couple I know who will soon celebrate their 18th wedding anniversary who got married after a whirlwind romance of only a few days.

What makes a marriage last? There are as many opinions on this as there are experts willing to offer them. Suggested ingredients for a successful marriage range from dedicated commitment; to similarities in views, religious beliefs and upbringing; to compatible communication skills; to complimenting your spouse every day; to finding ways to remain intimate.

It's a complicated question with complicated answers because marriage is a complicated proposition involving two people and all the emotional baggage, habits (good and bad), personality quirks and past experiences each brings to the equation.

Who knows, the process used for pairing two people on "Who Wants to Marry a Multimillionaire" may be just as valid as any other when it comes to the murky waters of marital relationships.

Teresa Johnson is a staff writer for the Southeast Missourian