I could scarcely wait until my day's activities were over when I could eat my evening meal and relax with my favorite television show. And I had quite a repertoire of them. Each night I shoved my concerns and work behind me, for just a while, and lived in a make-believe world. Then, one evening, my alluring coziness was disturbed by an uninvited insight.

One would think, after relaxing contentedly two or three evenings and enjoying a pleasant pastime such as movies, reading or whatever consolation he desired, one would be rejuvenated and raring to tackle new or existing interests. This could be visiting, yard- work, bowling, playing cards, writing or whatever might intrigue him.

But I discovered this was not the case with me. The more often I watched good movies, and dreamed of living in their particular times and places, the more I wanted to continue hiding in my escape world. My real life was fulfilling, but watching others interact through television or movies was more comfortable and less taxing physically and mentally, than making the effort to improve my own life.

As I continued the habit, I realized I couldn't continue spending nights in front of the television. There were children with whom I wanted to play, and relatives and friends I ought to visit. I needed to rejoin planet Earth and interact with the breathing.

So finally, I reluctantly relinquished my all-too-frequent pastime of relaxing with TV at night and began performing other activities. I started working out at a local gym and catching up on correspondence. I found that, rather than missing my indulgence of watching favorite movies, I became more alive, feeling the blood rushing through my veins eagerly and victoriously.

I looked forward to exciting new interests springing up in my life. I discovered that, contrary to my previous pattern of rushing home and reclining before the TV after dinner, I was thrilled at welcoming my renewed energy and exuberance. I again pursued old -- and made new -- connections.

Even though we all need to find ways to wind down after a day's work or times of extreme stress, if one isn't careful he easily can become attached to unhealthy and useless forms of escape. Playing computer games can be a source of addiction, causing families to suffer. Jobs can also suffer when one's habitually drawn to particular diversions.

As I pondered attachments to pastimes, I ran across the Scripture passage "Everything is permissible for me, but not everything is beneficial. Everything is permissible for me -- but I will not be mastered by anything." (1 Corinthians 6:12)

The words "I will not be mastered by anything" struck me like lightning because I had allowed my excessive getaways in front of the TV to keep me from constructive activities. When one engages in intemperance toward anything, it can become a crutch that keeps him from reaching worthwhile goals. Anything can become an addition, and one must break away from what's holding him back before he can move forward.

After experiencing my movie retreats, I realized if I continued my habit I'd become stagnant, losing desire for new interests. Also, I'd neglect those whom I loved. I would become unable to live life to the fullest. Instead I needed to refresh myself in productive ways. Now I try to exercise moderation in whatever I attempt and consistently question whether I'm meeting that goal.

Can I honestly agree that "everything is permissible for me -- but I will not be mastered by anything?" And I consider, "What escape is better than escaping into God?"

Ellen Shuck is director of religious education at St. Mary's Cathedral Parish in Cape Girardeau.