Mark Ervin

Mark Ervin, former meat cutter for Schnucks, but most recent lazy man, passed away Wednesday, July 11, 2018, at home surrounded by family. He died as he lived, in dramatic fashion and without pants. He would have liked you to believe he was still younger than 62 years old.

Mark was born Feb. 8, 1956, in Cape Girardeau to Wilton and Edith Ervin, and was most assuredly an accident. Prior to the age of 5, he had no idea what life was like due to a traumatic brain injury, which could only be described as a concussion to have made Evel Knievel proud.

Through his time on this planet, he was able to develop close friendships with a group of gentlemen and their families from all walks of life, creating a group dubbed "The B.O.G.," which he would have had you believe stood for "The Boys of Girardeau." This was, in fact, a lie, as it actually stood for "The Burn Out Gang."

He attended a few semesters at Southeast Missouri State University in the mid-to-late '70s and was always eager to remind his children that, "When [he] was in college, it was $125 a semester." Although he attended college during this time, he was more celebrated for his ability to womanize and party, as he was a proud organizer of what he would affectionately discuss with others as the "100 Kegger."

On Jan. 29, 1983, he somehow managed to convince Susan Ervin to marry him, in front of God and everyone, with a ceremony including tuxedos that can only now be called "exceptionally '80s." Upon looking back at this day, many historians and archivists agree the nuptials transpired solely due to a maneuver Mark would trademark as "The Dirty Dog."

Most notable achievements in Mark's life include Jan. 23, 1984, and Dec. 7, 1985, standing in hospital rooms while his wife did all the work, giving him two amazing children. Nicholas and Elizabeth would learn the joys of being an Ervin from a man whose laugh was infectious, but also questionable due to its loud, snorting and often inappropriate nature.

He is survived by his wife, Susan; his son, Nicholas, along with his wife, Melissa, and their three children, Clark, Laurel and a third on the way, name TBD; his daughter, Elizabeth, who according to nephew Clark, will be "alone forever"; his older brothers, Mike (Marion) and Willie (Beverly); sisters, Sue and Joy (Tom); and numerous nieces and nephews.

He was preceded in death by almost every person who ever lived on this planet, including, but not limited to, Abraham Lincoln and John Bonham.

He will genuinely miss the taste of Crown Royal Special Reserve, over ice, and a fine, but not too expensive, cigar, all while enjoying a round of golf and yelling at the group in front of him for not playing "ready golf."

Visitation will be held from 4 to 8 p.m. Friday at Ford and Sons Mount Auburn Funeral Home in Cape Girardeau.

A graveside service will be at 10 a.m. Saturday at Cape County Memorial Park in Cape Girardeau, with the Brother Jim Cooper and the Rev. Jeff Estes officiating.

In lieu of flowers, the family suggests you give to your favorite charities, spend time with friends and family, buy a round, and give a toast to the man, the myth, the legend, Mark Ervin.

Online condolences may be made at www.fordandsonsfuneralhome.com.