Littering - It's time to go to war

If you toss foam beverage containers, fast-food wrappers, soiled diapers, aluminum cans, cigarette butts, gum wrappers, empty snuff cans, snot-filled tissues, old tires or worn-out sofas from your vehicles onto city streets, county roads, and state and federal highways, you probably don't want to read any further.

Because, if you are a litterbug, I intend to trash you.

I don't know who you are. If I did, I would try to have you arrested.

I don't know when you heave your garbage. If I did, I would try to be there to witness your violation of the law so I could testify against you in court.

I don't know why you think it's OK to behave like a porker. If I did, I wouldn't have to figure out why your mama did such a lousy job of raising you.

There have been numerous Speak Out comments and letters to the editor about the low-life, brain-dead, no-conscience, don't-give-a-damn litterbugs in and around Cape Girardeau. The trash is everywhere. And I have to assume that quite a bit of trash is behind the steering wheels of the cars and trucks I pass on the street every day. Where else could the litter come from?

I was happy to see the city is using jail inmates to pick up trash. However, I'll bet a dollar not a one of those fellows in orange suits is in jail for littering.

Too bad.

What I'd like to see is a jail work gang of litterbugs who have been sentenced to however many days of picking up trash it takes to pay off their fines. If I had my way, no litterbug would be permitted to pay his fine in cash. Instead, he would be required to work off the fine.

Don't get me started on what I think about fair justice. There are a lot of criminals out there who wouldn't want me having the final say on their fate. I've been known to mention firing squads from time to time.

Not that littering is a capital offense. Yet.

A lot of the comments and letters about littering mention "Somebody ought to do something."

Yes. We should. All of us.

I give high marks to the men who pick up my garbage every Monday morning. They do a good job. But occasionally some of the trash gets blown into the street. I make an effort every Monday afternoon to clear the street of any stray trash. It's a little thing, but it makes my neighborhood a little bit nicer.

I've never belonged to a group that adopted a portion of highway. I've noticed, however, that those stretches of the highway seldom look any cleaner than the miles and miles waiting for adoption. It makes me wonder if free advertising is more important than any genuine zeal to beautify our highways.

To those groups that really work to keep their adopted highways clear of trash: My hat's off to you. Thanks.

To those groups that just like to see their names on signs: Shame on you.

A companion to litter is yard clutter. Have you noticed? Some people have no pride in the appearance of their homes from the street. Or from their neighbors' windows.

One Speak Out caller referred to this as the "Wayne County look."

Whoa! Wait a minute! My beloved Killough Valley is in Wayne County, along with a big chunk of national forest and clear-flowing rivers and creeks.

Whoever made that comment may not know about the short fuses of folks who get lumped into stereotypes. Look for an invasion of Wayne Countians any day now.

I just hope they don't trash up Highway 34 getting here.

R. Joe Sullivan is the editor of the Southeast Missourian.