MISSOURI WATCH: SOS: SOLVING OUR SOLUTIONS

Although it is a little discussed issue, democratic governments appear to be more adept at offering solutions facing society from time to time than in dealing with the problems which are created as a result of their alleged remedies. The State of Missouri appears to have its share of such dilemmas, sometimes also called the Law of Unintended Consequences, while some partisans in Jefferson City would say our state is awash with them. It would seem preferable to give the problem a more accurate name: Solving Our Solutions, a.k.a. SOS.

As a matter of fact, if our elected representatives in the state Capitol could solve some of the earlier provided "solutions," Missouri would have many of its current dilemmas under control and we could go about the business of watching our children score perfect grades on ACTs and the Mizzou football Tigers win the Big 12. Well, we can dream, can't we?

There is considerable agreement this SOS syndrome is caused by the very nature of representative democracy itself. That is, every two or four years in Missouri we elect more than 200 candidates for state offices, and these candidates, in an effort to attract votes, emphasize problems that are troubling the electorate and offer reasonably coherent, seemingly logical solutions. If a majority of voters, most of whom are not paying attention either to the problems or the solutions, like the premises offered by the candidate, then he or she is elected.

This puts a high premium on those candidates who are able to offer answers that are both understandable to thousands of voters, who give a maximum of 30 seconds thought to important issues, and which have the appearance of being logical, requiring no new forms of taxation and are non-controversial. There have been elections in the past when candidates have offered solutions for which there were no problems, and this tactic has proved highly successful, especially when voters were more interested in other state or national issues, such as murder trials of aging football players or learning how to do the Macarena.

The most successful candidates, however, select problems with the above mentioned advantages and immediately gain the reputation of being a natural-born leader, one who can lead the public not only across bridges to the next century but down the information highway without worries of striking a single pothole or encountering even one radar-equipped police car. Sometimes it appears the success of political candidates depends more on the seriousness of the problem than the efficacy of its solution, but that is mere conjecture and has never keen fully answered by either Pat Robertson or Jesse Jackson. A check of old newspaper files show we have not even been accorded an opinion by Mel Hancock, as unusual as that may seem.

Missouri, it appears to this Missourian, has a great number of SOS's that threaten to rain on our parade before we circle the wagons. Let's note some of them here.

SOS 1: The most troubling problem facing many citizens of this state is the absence of public safety. In other words, crime. This is primarily a state and local problem, although some in national government have been anxious to jump right in for any political gain available. At the state level, the principal solution offered has been a lengthening of prison terms, and the phrase "put the criminals behind bars" has increased the noise in bars throughout all 114 counties. Of course, this makes perfect sense. If we have an abundance of crime created by an abundance of criminals, the obvious answer is to get rid of the whole lot. Sounds good, and it works. A murderer behind bars is probably powerless to commit more murders, although it has been known to occur. The public safety problem has been solved. Not quite. By doubling the prison population of Missouri, citizens have been required to fork over more millions to build new cells to handle the increased population. As a matter of fact, we can't build new cells fast enough to handle the solution we all agreed on. To demonstrate the efficacy of the solving-our-problem concept, let it be noted that virtually every official in Jefferson City is now expressing concern about where our so-called solution is taking us. Bankruptcy Road is the most often path cited.

SOS 2: Ranking right along with crime is the dilemma of how to create better educated future Missourians. Gov. Mel Carnahan has told us the solution is the information highway, which is another way of saying our classrooms need more computers. By making our children knowledgeable enough to find an educational piece of software, we will broaden their mathematical, scientific, historical and language skills, thereby equipping them to win jobs in some computer-filled office cubicle for the rest of their lives. Problem solved. Not quite. How do we make children learn what was already available in books? Do we rely on the gimmickry of admittedly entertaining machinery to trick our children into become another Einstein or Sagan?

SOS 3: The problem of providing better health care has already been solved. Moving from the antiquated concept of the family doctor to the modern-day approach of corporate management we have created the HMO, which meets our medical needs with the efficiency of the Third Reich and even makes huge profits as well. We are now trying to solve our solution by restricting the efficiency of corporate medicine, making it more like, if you will pardon the term, the family doctor.

More SOS's: We have solved rural decay by creating corporate farming, which pollutes our countryside. We have solved urban blight with tax abatements which in turn create revenue vacuums unable to finance city schools and neighborhood rehabilitation. We propose to treat our mentally ill and developmentally disabled by corporate systems. (See SOS 3).

We have more SOS's than the Titanic and, if history tells us anything, only slightly better odds of survival.

~Jack Stapleton of Kennett is the editor of Missouri News and Editorial Service.