NEWTON'S LAW: POST THIS IN THE LOCKER ROOM: AMERICA IS UP FOR A STRUGGLE

Here's the problem with throwing up on a foreign head of state. Once you've done it, your ability to express indignation is diminished.

Pity poor George Bush. Just when he needs a self-righteous disposition, just when his pique should have peaked, the president is left to contemplate an unpleasant evening and disagreeable meal in Tokyo.

To be sure, the Japanese were nothing short of gracious in their handling of the U.S. leader's illness. As a result, President Bush might be inclined to give the Japanese a benefit of the doubt on questionable calls of international relations.

It's not like the Japanese prime minister, issued some stern rebuke over trade policies by President Bush, would take to his nation's airwaves and chastise the U.S. leader's bad manners.

That isn't what global diplomacy is about, going public with opinions on an adversary's digestive ~tendencies.

Still, Mr. Bush probably wishes, if such bad fortune had to befall his presidency, that the flu would have kicked in during a state visit to Portugal, where trade relations aren't as tricky or significant.

This is to make the point that there may be intricate dynamics at work in President Bush's silence over comments made in Japan about the work habits and brain power of American workers.

A man named Yoshio Sakurauchi touched off this uproar. He is speaker of Japan's House of Representatives. In America, the speaker of the House is Tom Foley, a man of considerable influence. In Japan, the position is mostly ceremonial. Thus, you can assume Sakurauchi has roughly the same job as Dan Quayle.

A Japanese newspaper quoted Sakurauchi as telling his constituents that America has become "Japan's subcontractor." He also offered the opinion that America's trade deficit came about because "U.S. workers won't work hard," and that a third of the workers are illiterate.

Okay, so Japan never signed the mutual respect treaty.

It isn't the first time Americans have taken offense to remarks made by officials in the Japanese government.

In 1986, Prime Minister Yasuhiro Nakasone boasted of Japan's high intelligence level by pointing out "the United States is lower because of a considerable number of blacks, Puerto Ricans and Mexicans."

In 1988, Michio Watanabe, who has since become the foreign minister, said Japanese individuals would consider suicide if going bankrupt, while Americans would think, "Now we don't have to pay anything back."

Last September, Prime Minister Toskiki Kaifu, speaking about campaign finances, said, "American candidates lack a strict sense of ethics, don't they?"

Sakurauchi followed in the footsteps of his comrades and was contrite once his ill-advised comments were transmitted overseas. In a statement Tuesday, Sakurauchi said he regretted his remarks "were taken as if to disparage or slight American workers."

Gosh, I'm not sure U.S. citizens consider being called shiftless and stupid as disparaging.

In American sports, there is a time-worn tradition: if an athlete makes critical comments about opponents in a newspaper, the article is clipped and posted in the opposing team's locker room. The idea is to appeal to players' sense of pride, to stir their passions about an upcoming contest.

Once this is done, questions of talent, or bellyaching about fair play, dissolve. It is a challenge. What matters then is the desire of a team to make its opponent the loser.

What George Bush, the Big Three automakers and other U.S. business executives should do is post Sakurauchi's comments obtuse and insignificant in America's psychic locker room.

If America wants to be better than the Japanese, it should take the steps necessary to be better. Despite what some hack politician in Japan thinks, the American labor force works hard ... but will it work hard enough?

No doubt for diplomatic reasons, George Bush has not rushed to America's defense over this latest comment. He shouldn't have to. When it comes to a fight, we should all have the stomach for it.