otherJuly 10, 2017

Betty Martin

As those of you know who follow my column, I don’t read many nonfiction books, but when I do, it always turns out to be a great one. Recently I read “Wait, What? And Life’s Other Essential Questions” by James E. Ryan. I’m not sure where I first heard about it or how I was first directed to watch a YouTube video of the commencement speech that led to the book, but I highly recommend both to you. Dr. Ryan, dean of Harvard University’s Graduate School of Education, wrote his book after he gave a commencement address on the art of asking (and answering) good questions.

In his book, Dr. Ryan says, “Whether we’re in the boardroom or the classroom, we spend far too much time and energy looking for the right answer. But the truth is that questions are just as important as answers, often more so. If you ask the wrong question, for instance, you’re guaranteed to get the wrong answer. A good question, on the other hand, inspires a good answer and, in the process, invites deeper understanding and more meaningful connections between people. Asking a good question requires us to move beyond what we think we know about an issue or a person to explore the difficult and the unknown, the awkward, and even the unpleasant.”

He believes there are four important questions:

“Wait, what?” — which is at the root of all understanding;

“I wonder...?” — which is at the heart of all curiosity;

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“Couldn’t we at least...?” — which is the beginning of all progress;

and “How can I help?” — which is at the base of all good relations. And then he gives a bonus question, which is a quote from a poem by Raymond Carver: “And did you get what you wanted from this life, even so?”

As he works through the questions, he uses examples from politics, history, popular culture, social movements, as well as his own personal life.

It’s a short book. It will only take you an hour or two to read, but it may change your life and how you think. It may slow you down and cause you to pay attention to what really matters in your relationships. And, as a friend pointed out to me after reading it, it would make a great gift, especially to graduates or anyone trying to lead a more meaningful life.

“And did you get what you wanted from this life, even so?”

Happy readings!

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