College students tend to gravitate to bars and hangouts in town, but seldom do they spend their time there talking about theological issues.

Unless they're attending a session in the Bar Hop series, sponsored by Catholic Campus Ministries at Southeast Missouri State University.

The sessions, which last about 90 minutes, meet once a month in an area bar and give students from all faiths a chance to ask questions about everything from sex and relationships to the existence of God and death and the afterlife. The questions are answered by the Rev. J. Friedel, director of Catholic Campus Ministries.

Students first developed the idea for the Bar Hop series because they wanted a way to expand the programs and target new groups, said Lesley Coalter, campus minister with the Catholic ministries group.

Back room talking

About 25 students gathered last Thursday night in a back room at Jeremiah's to talk about death and dying. In the bar's main room, other college students danced and listened to music.

The ground rules for the night were simple: no fake IDs, anyone 21 or older must drink responsibly if they choose to drink, and there should be no drinking and driving. The same rules apply at every Bar Hop event.

As the students sat around tables with their drinks, Friedel gave an introduction about the night's topic. He spoke about the Catholic Church and its beliefs on death and the afterlife, but didn't limit the conversation to only the church since some students asked about other faiths.

Friedel said the events help emphasize that the church doesn't have any problems with drinking alcohol but with being irresponsible about it. Friedel didn't drink anything but water, but another priest who joined the group did drink a beer.

And not everyone in the audience was Catholic. Friedel also teaches a world religions course at the university, and some of the students in the bar were enrolled in his class.

The issues about death and dying are tough to discuss because no one knows exactly what happens when a person dies, Friedel said.

"It's OK to have some apprehension abut what you don't know."

He talked about what the church believes happens when a person dies and about heaven, hell and purgatory.

Students asked about suicide and the idea of buying your way out of purgatory or paying indulgences. That question then lead to a discussion of the Reformation. Other questions were about mortal sins and ethnic cleansing.

Friedel tried to be honest with the students, talking about how to be spiritually healthy while grieving and how to use all the "tools at your disposal" to get a better understanding of their faith.

One of the roles of campus ministry is to give students a chance to question authority, Friedel said. "We don't need to get defensive, but let them explore all the options."

Friedel makes no assumptions that his audience is Catholic and that all are putting their faith into practice. The Bar Hop "gives them a chance to learn about and integrate their faith," he said.

Getting comfortable

Sophomore Lauren Huber likes the idea that students can come just to see what's being talked about. "It makes them feel comfortable, and maybe they'll think about going back to church."

She was one of the original organizers of the event.

The Bar Hop gives students a chance to ask questions they might not be comfortable asking otherwise. And the students keep making suggestions for future discussions, Huber said. "A lot want to know about temptation and evolution. We get a lot of repeats and some want to know about the early church and the perspective of other faiths."

Questions about war and peace have been coming up more frequently, she said.

Students have plenty of other questions too. During the first Bar Hop, about 80 students gathered to talk about sex, love and relationships. Friedel answered questions about the church's stance on oral sex and how physically intimate dating couples should be.

Because those questions were a little more sensitive, students wrote them out on paper and dropped them into a box he brings to the bar, Friedel said. Other times, students will drop one or two questions into the box but then just ask them aloud.

"Some of the best moments as a campus minister are the times when someone brings up an oddball question," Friedel said. "It's those moments when you're sitting around a fraternity house or run into someone at a restaurant and they ask 'Hey Father J., what do you think about this?'

"I'd much rather answer the questions people have than just to talk about the questions I think they ought to have," Friedel said.

ljohnston@semissourian.com

335-6611, extension 126