Telling people about their gifts

Have you ever wondered what gifts God has given you? That sounds like an ordinary and fruitless question on the surface, but making someone aware of his gifts can change his life.

God endowed everyone with particular skills and talents that he alone possesses. Scripture agrees when Psalm 139: 13, 14 reads "For it was you who formed my inward parts; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made."

People often flounder for years wondering what abilities they own to give to the world, others or themselves.

Recently while talking with a friend, Kelsey, I realized one is never too old, young, rich or poor to contribute something to those around him. She remarked even though her father was confined to a nursing home, she still depended on his love.

His greatest contribution to her happiness, aside from the fact that she loved him, was that her dad was her staunchest supporter. He could still show his love by encouraging Kelsey. Although her visits to him were often time-consuming and grueling, she derived so much strength from his presence she gladly made the sacrifice.

Kelsey remarked that once, as she sat by her father's bedside, he commented everyone has a purpose to serve on earth -- some gift to bestow. She felt particularly rejected and distressed that evening, so she returned his statement with a sad, but honest reply. "Dad, I'd certainly like to know what my gift is because I sure can't find anything I can do that's out of the ordinary. I can't sing, write or do anything special."

"Oh, but you have a wonderful gift," said her father. "I've always noticed it and I thought you knew. Your gift is that of giving joy to others. When people are around you they're uplifted by your personality and demeanor."

I agreed with his appraisal of Kelsey because she truly is pleasant, frequently laughing, listening to people's stories and offering encouragement. In fact, she's one of my biggest support systems.

Someone had finally told her of her special gift. But why had it taken so long for her to find out? She had never been told she spread joy, but becoming aware of that particular talent made an enormous difference in her estimation of herself and, consequently, her life.

We often notice the qualities of others but fail to tell them. One needs to recognize he can make a change in people's lives by letting them know their unique abilities are noticed.

I could definitely relate to Kelsey's situation because I was reared in an environment where people believed too many compliments caused conceit. For that reason, my family didn't voice admiration they often felt.

Fortunately, opinions have changed toward recognition of others' talents. People understand that sincere praise can stimulate one to reach for higher goals and take pride in his skills. Rather than causing excessive pride, approval raises one's self esteem.

Why do we sometimes hesitate to applaud someone for a job well done, or for possessing particular capabilities? Sometimes people feel they'll be diminished if they elevate someone else. They're uncomfortable that attention is focused on someone else.

However, Jesus taught that the greatest among us is the servant, ministering to the needs of others, uplifting and supporting them out of love. Raising someone's opinion of himself, whether through a compliment or showing appreciation, elevates feelings of value for both the giver and the recipient.

But the one deriving the most joy is the giver. "Love is patient; love is kind, love is not envious." -- 1 Corinthians 13:4. After hearing Kelsey's story, I vowed to make a special effort to notice and verbally congratulate people on their gifts and any work skillfully done.

~ Ellen Shuck is director of religious education at St. Mary's Cathedral Parish.