Here's an update on some of your letters and e-mails.

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Dear Mr. Sullivan: What the heck's wrong with you? Baseball fans don't appreciate the false hope you generate when you put the wrong Cardinals score on the front page. What a letdown when we turn to the Sports section and find out the Cards lost.

-- Redbird Rick

Dear Redbird Rick: There are so many things wrong with me that it would take a dozen of these columns just to hit the high points. But I'll bet you really didn't want to know what's wrong with me, even though that's the way you started your letter -- which, by the way, had some curious stains on it. I hope that's ketchup. I'd hate to think you were doing yourself bodily harm.

About the Cardinals-Rockies score on the front page of Tuesday's paper: Some of you were heartened to read that the Cards won 6-2. But when you turned to the Sports section, there was a big story that said the Rockies won.

Here's my explanation: We got it right on the front page. Unfortunately, the Cards let us down, which is reflected on the Sports page. If they had tried a little harder, they could have lived up to the optimistic billing we gave them on the front page.

If you're going to get angry, please direct your wrath toward someone wearing a uniform with lots of red on it. We did our part.

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Hey, Joe, is it true that our two U.S. senators have earmarked a gob of money for the World-Famous Downtown Golf Course in the spending bill that's supposed to pay for the Iraq war and hurricane relief? Do you really think that's an appropriate use of our hard-earned tax dollars?

-- Concerned Taxpayer

Dear Concerned Taxpayer: A measly $1 million is hardly a "gob of money" when you're talking about a spending bill with a $109 billion price tag. It's just bunch of zeros, after all. The money, I mean. Not the senators. Do the math. A million bucks is 0.000009 percent of the total spending in the bill. And a lot of those zeros aren't destined for Iraq or the Gulf Coast.

I ask you: Would you rather spend a million smackers on a study of burping farm animals, or downtown golf right here in River City? Bridges in Alaska where you can drive a car 43 days a year, or downtown golf? Another study of Cape Girardeau County's transit needs, or downtown golf?

By the way, I only asked for $250 to cover the cost of printing some posters for the First Annual Louis J. Lorimier Memorial World-Famous Downtown Golf Tournament to be held June 25. I should have asked for $300.

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Dear editor: I've read all those stories and letters and Speak Out comments about how Cape Girardeau needs a water park. What do you think? We trust your judgment.

-- Members of the Brew & Burp Club

Dear venerable and honorable coffee drinkers: Look out the window. We already have the most magnificent water park in the world. Some of us call it the Mississippi River. Why anyone would propose spending millions of dollars on an artificial version is beyond me.

Kids won't swim in the river? They would if their parents would let them. Or, to make mommies and daddies feel better, we could build a swimming pool in the river. Don't laugh. The town of Nevada, Mo., put a pool in the lake at Radio Springs Park years and years ago. It worked. I am not making this up.

By the way, anyone who trusts my judgment is in serious trouble and ought not to be writing letters to the editor.

R. Joe Sullivan is the editor of the Southeast Missourian.