Sideline chatter 10/1/03

Finding jogger no Dutch treat

A Dutch jogger got lost during an evening run in Woudenberg, Netherlands, and police -- 40 of them, armed with a helicopter and canine units -- didn't find him until he'd been gone for 14 hours, Ananova.com reported.

Don't know which is the most impressive:

The fact he was still jogging when a cop spotted him.

The fact he was on his way home -- with still 20 miles to go

The fact he is 92 years old.

The man did, however, spend the rest of the day sleeping.

He's as fast as a zebra

NFL scouts can't fathom how Penn State's football team could be 2-3 despite putting such impressive closing speed on display every week.

But enough about Joe Paterno chasing referees.

Beginning of an era?

Just wondering: With Sunday's trade of Predrag Drobnjak to the Los Angeles Clippers, does that mean the Sonics are now officially in Postdrag?

She flipped her lid

Talk about a criminal who collared herself: The Associated Press reported that a Phillies fan, seeking a souvenir from Sunday's final game at Veterans Stadium, was nabbed by police when she walked out of a restroom at the Vet with a toilet seat around her neck.

The suspect, we assume, will claim it was nothing, really -- just a little going-away potty.

A saddle-sore subject

Jim Hanifan, in his new book "Beyond X's and O's: My Thirty Years in the NFL," writes that the late Gene Klein wasn't very happy when Hanifan told him in 1980 he was leaving Klein's San Diego Chargers to coach the then-St. Louis Cardinals.

The conversation started badly -- Klein called him a "no-good, rotten SOB," according to the book --but the coach figured the tension was finally easing when the owner got around to saying he'd always have a job waiting for Hanifan.

"Until he told me it would be shoveling manure for his horses."

They said it

Comedy writer Jerry Perisho, on Tampa Bay's 303-pound Warren Sapp performing an end-zone dance after scoring a TD: "He registered a 6 on the scoreboard and a 4 on the Richter scale."

NBC's Jay Leno, proposing a reality television show featuring Mike Tyson: "Joe Used to Be a Millionaire."

Miss America Ericka Dunlap, reading one of those top-10 lists for CBS's David Letterman: "So far this year, I have more wins than the Jets."

Mack the knifed

Arizona's 1-4 start didn't get football coach John Mackovic fired, but his banning of 20 Wildcats players from Friday's pregame dinner did the trick.

UA administrators, apparently, couldn't stomach the prospect of seeing their players outside the stadium holding "Will block for food" signs.

-- Dwight Perry, The Seattle Times