Seaman Apprentice Justin Burns of Cape Girardeau was arrested May 26 at his mother's home on charges of desertion. He is back at the Norfolk, Va. naval base. On Wednesday, Burns wrote this letter to Rudi Keller of the Southeast Missourian. It has been edited for grammar and to conform to style.

Mr. Keller,

I must say I am completely thrilled you've contacted me. First I must say I'm not ashamed to say that I did go UA [unauthorized absence] from the United States Navy. I can honestly say it was a very hard-thought decision to choose the path that I have taken. Whether it was the right decision or not I don't know. But it was one that I felt benefited my family the most.

Here I will begin to tell you the story, my story of why I left the Navy. To start off with when I joined the Navy in April of '06, everything was smooth sailing at first. I really loved what I was doing. I took great pride in thinking that I was serving my country in the same manner that my grandfather did in World War II.

The problems all started in September. I had already been married for over a month or two and I was still not receiving my Basic Allowance for Housing. So I had to wait over three months to finally start receiving the extra pay that I was entitled to. Well, I finally started receiving my BAH in late October. It was at that time that I finally decided to move my wife and son to Virginia with me. I went to the administrative office on my ship to fill out the paperwork required to move my family out here. It involves a lot of paperwork because the Navy pays for the move and most expenses involved. Well, after days of trying I was finally told that the Navy wouldn't be covering my family's move. They said that because I got married in between boot camp and checking into my first command (USS CARR FFG52), they did't have to authorize the payment of the move.

Well, I thought that this was strange because I had been under the impression that members of the armed forces were paid certain allowances when they moved. I had never heard of it going any other way. Well, I sucked it up and went ahead and paid the $3,000 it took to move my family out here. I rented an apartment off-base. Some people who know very little about the military would say that getting an apartment off-base is irresponsible because on-base housing you don't have to pay rent. Well, to silence those people, I'd ask them to check what the waiting list on the Norfolk Naval Base is. It's a very long list, and my name was on the very bottom. So I got an apartment off-base.

The rent for that apartment per month was $790 a month, plus we moved into a furnished apartment, which brought my rent to a little less than $1,000. My BAH was just over $1,100 a month, my total incoming pay every month was just about $2,200. So as you can see, almost half my pay went to just rent alone.

Not long after my family joined me in Virginia, my wife became very ill and had to be hospitalized for nearly a week. About a month after she was released from the hospital, the bill started coming in. We thought that at first they must be merely statements from the hospital showing what Tricare was going to pay. But they weren't. They were actual bills sent to us because for some reason the Tricare company wouldn't pay them.

Between the months of August (the hospital bills from when my son was born) and March, my family incurred almost $13,000 in medical bills. And the Tricare company simply refused to pay any of them. It was a really rough time for my wife and I. We were getting eviction notices on our door once a month. Facing having our electric turned off regularly. Between the medical bills, credit cards, loans, my wife's college loans, we had incurred nearly $22,000 of debt, $10,000 of which we already had before I joined the Navy.

Living far away from home and knowing very few people here, plus we had a newborn son, we were faced with a very big problem. We tried to take out more loans, but our credit was horrible by that time. There were few places we could turn. So I did the only thing I could do. I turned to my command, the only people I had that I could ask for help.

What I asked of them was either what in the Navy is called a Financial Hardship Discharge, or some sort of financial relief. Generally to qualify for a financial hardship discharge you have to have accumulated at least $15,000 in debt. At that point it is usually at the command's discretion whether or not to allow the discharge. The discharge itself is an honorable discharge basically stating that the Navy simply couldn't afford to pay you what it would take for you and your family to make it financially at the present time.

The other option was something I'd heard of the Navy doing for various other times for certain people. Sometimes the command will authorize the payment of certain bills to give them some kind of relief. Well, I proceeded to battle every day to try and get something done. Every time I'd reach a point that I'd think that someone would finally help us the door would close and I'd end up right where I'd started. Everyone seemed more than happy to give free advice but when it came down to really doing something to help, no one seemed interested in helping.

It was terribly frustrating for me, going to work every day, wondering how I was going to keep the electric on. How I was going to keep formula in my son's stomach.

Finally I broke down. I sat up all night on the 12th of March crying. I just lost it. I didn't know what to do. I was all but lost. The next day at work I went to the command master chief of our ship. I told him I just didn't know what to do anymore. The only advice he could give me was to go to take my family to the homeless shelters every night. He said that would at least take care of my food. I couldn't believe he had said that

to me.

I thought to myself, "I can't believe this. I'm a member of the armed forces of the United States of America. I shouldn't be forced to go to homeless shelters just to be able to eat."

Then someone on my ship told me something that cleared everything up. He said, "Sometimes you can't rely on other people to help you. Sometimes you just have to make a decision that you think will help yourself and stick to it."

I don't quite think I took it the way he intended, but it made things much clearer for me. I decided that if my own government wouldn't help me, then I'd help myself. I went home that night and packed as much as I could into my small Pontiac Grand Prix and drove my family home. It was probably the hardest decision that I've ever made. The whole way to Missouri I just kept thinking to myself, was this the right thing to do? Then I'd turn and look at my son and realize I didn't have any other choice. I don't know. Some people call it treason. Some people call it desertion. I call it simply trying to survive.

I've seen too many bad things in my life to let my son want for anything. Especially food and adequate medical care. Some people call me gutless and say I was scared and ran form my duty. To them I say this -- it was not the fear of my duty to my country that I left. It was the fear of my duty to my son and wife. To fail them would be the biggest loss of all.

Mr. Keller, I hope this spreads just a little light on a few things.

Sincerely,

Seaman Apprentice Justin Burns

United States Navy

Norfolk Va.