Britney Spears is a no-no

Most of us have gone to a gym once in our lifetime. Recently, I've been going to it quite often to keep myself from turning into a bubbling pile of Jell-O who likes to eat Bagel Bites.

I've noticed a few things that amuse me every time I go to Classic Tan in Chaffee. Here are some things for you to notice the next time you're lifting those weights that shed little flakes of metal on you:

1. Every gym has one. I'm speaking of the guy who has worked out every day of his life for the past 20 years or so and makes you feel like an insignificant weakling who should have never been allowed into the gym.

While he's over there with a vein the same size as your forearm popping out of his forehead, you're grabbing your keys and heading for the door. You take note of what kind of car he drives (usually a giant pickup) and vow to never go in as long as you see that car in the parking lot.

2. Music is a must when working out, and playing the right kind is even more important. Just today I was listening to Mix 96.5 when all of a sudden Britney Spears' "Toxic" came on. I made a mad dash to the radio to flip it so that no one would think I was listening to this song by choice. As I flipped it to a safer station that was playing "Echo" by Trapt, I went back to my routine and was just starting back up when "Hit Me Baby One More Time" began blasting through the speakers. Needless to say, I finally put it on 107.1 FM.

3. Involuntary facial expressions are a must when it comes to lifting weights. I can never look in a mirror; otherwise I'll laugh and crush my feet.

There you have it. Those are just a few of the things that I've noticed. I'm sure as the months progress, I'll see more strange characteristics in myself or others at the gym. In the meantime, I hope the guy I mentioned above doesn't take what I said the wrong way and waits for me at the door the next time I go in.

Have fun and be safe, my friends. By safe, I mean try not to trip and bump into the guy with the vein while running to change Ms. Spears.

Sam DeReign is a graduate of Oran High School. Contact him at sdereign@semissourian.com.