Filling the empty space within

Have you ever wondered why when one has little to do, he conjures up all kinds of past injustices, negative situations and unhappy events? But when people are busy, thoughts are occupied with the tasks at hand, goals to accomplish and pleasant memories. I wondered why this was so.

A person with whom I frequently mentor was constantly agitated because of particular relatives' behavior. Alice was concerned with their unChristian lifestyle and remembered their unjust treatment of her in the past. Regardless of how often I advised her she could do little to change the people except to pray for them, she continued to dwell on the past and the way they conducted their lives. As I continued to talk with Alice, I found she maintained few interests, possessed hardly any friends, and seemed to have little else about which to think.

Since our minds and hearts must be filled with something, it's vitally important we fill that space with something worthwhile. Our mentality is like a garden. If we don't weed out the useless judgments, anxieties and problems over which we have no control, our minds will become overgrown with wildflowers of worry, regret and anger.

Paul's advice to the Philippians was to think upon whatever was true, whatever was noble, whatever was right, whatever was pure, whatever was lovely, whatever was admirable. (Philippians 4:8)

After realizing Alice's biggest problem was an overabundance of time to think unhealthy thoughts, I suggested she try a new hobby, begin to exercise, perform volunteer work or attempt to make new friends. Our conversations finally enabled her to see if she would fill her life and thoughts with positive activities and interests, she would have less time to think about the past, judge others or feel badly because of the injustices she had suffered. She was wasting her life and energy worrying about things that ought to have made no difference because one cannot control what others do. It's enough to manage one's own life.

Undue concern over the affairs of others is often an escape from creating a life of one's own. Some people live their lives vicariously -- through others. Alice questioned how people could control her from the grave, since many of the people who still tormented her were now deceased. From our conversations, she learned they were indeed ruling her from the grave, because she refused to release her constant negative thoughts toward them.

Alice sincerely desired to live a happier and more productive life but lacked the knowledge to leave her old mental habits behind and move forward. Fortunately, however, she accepted my suggestions and began to exercise, adopted new interests and attempted to make new friends. The last time I saw her she informed me she was now so busy and happy she seldom thought about the relatives who brought her so much grief. She had gained new confidence and consequently felt more in control of her life. That space within her had become filled with worthwhile thoughts that brought new and joyful feelings. Consequently Alice became even closer to God as a result of her new-found clearness of mind.

Our minds truly must be occupied with the beautiful, praiseworthy and admirable for us to be happy. St. Augustine said, "My heart is restless until it rests in God." Since one must necessarily think about something, what better focus could one have than to fill his heart and mind with thoughts of God?

After being Alice's confidant during her quandary, I was forced to evaluate what fills the empty space within me. And I found, although I attempt to keep my thoughts positive, upbeat and always maintaining a goal, my heart, too, is restless until it rests in God. What fills your empty space within?

Ellen Shuck is director of religious education at St. Mary Cathedral parish in Cape Girardeau.