Learning to pray as a child to a father

When you pray, do you merely thank God for what he has done for you, or can you freely ask God for your needs and desires? After talking with a young man recently, I found people have different viewpoints on prayer.

After hearing to Jeff's story concerning difficulties he was experiencing with a neighbor living in his apartment building, I suggested he pray about the problem. I was astonished when he answered, "I never ask God for things. I feel God has too much on his mind already. I thank him for everything he has done for me -- even my life, but I feel guilty asking him for favors."

I admired Jeff's outlook, but felt he was missing out on many blessings simply because he refused to ask. I have never been one who refrained from asking for anything from God because I remembered the Scripture, "Ask and you shall receive; seek and you will find, knock and the door will be opened to you; the one who seeks finds; to the one who knocks, the door will be opened." Luke 11:9-10.

Our perception of prayer depends on our image of God. If our God is a big boss who is critical and carrying a big stick, we're more likely to fear rather than to love God. Jesus tried to correct this fearful image by telling the disciples how to pray the "Our Father" prayer. The relationship is that of a child to a father, one based on an intimate, loving connection rather than power and authority.

I explained to Jeff Scripture's slant on how we are to pray, including an overview of The Lord's Prayer. He asked if God would genuinely answer his prayers and I assured him God would answer them -- but maybe not in the way he expected.

I recommended he not only ask that the problem be solved in whatever way God thought best, but that he pray for the person causing the problems. I reminded him God already knew everything, nevertheless he still wanted to be asked. Jeff insisted God was too busy to be bothered with something so small. I assured Jeff nothing was too minute about which to bother God because God wanted to be depended on -- like human fathers.

I wonder how often we limit God's favor because we don't ask. I praise and thank God when what I am asking for may be too extensive a request.

Scripture says, "With God all things are possible." Mark 10:27b. God is eager to grant the desires of my heart, for only I can place boundaries on God's generosity. He can only give me what I can accept and handle.

God must be insulted because we refrain from exercising perseverance when seeking an answer to prayer. In the parable involving the person asking for three loaves of bread at midnight, Jesus related if the friend refused to get out of bed and give the bread out of friendship, he would, for sure, get up and give him the bread because of his persistence (Luke 11: 5-8).

Although sometimes it seems like our prayers go unanswered, if we explore the weavings around our object of prayer we often find it has been answered, but perhaps not in the way we would have chosen. Since God wants to be perceived in an intimate, family-oriented way, we must recognize God refrains from granting harmful wishes to us just as we would not give our own children something bad for them.

I shall continue knocking, remembering no request is too big -- or insignificant -- for God's attention and refusing to limit God's blessings by hesitating to keep asking.

Will you give up, or persevere?

Ellen Shuck is director of religious education at St. Mary's Cathedral Parish in Cape Girardeau.