Movie review: Anything but love for the Guru

The real question is, what in the world is Mike Myers doing with his life? He starts his career out with a bang. First "Saturday Night Live," then the instant classic "Wayne's World" followed by the Austin Powers franchise. He then goes on a major children movie binge.

Now, six years later, he decides to come back to the grown-up stuff with "The Love Guru." Hmmm, interesting career move.

I think he probably should have stayed with the kid stuff.

In "The Love Guru" Mike Myers stars as Guru Pitka. A self-help guru, hired by the Toronto Maple Leafs owner Jane Bullard (Jessica Alba). Pitka's job is to fix the relationship of its star player, Darren Roanoke (Romany Malco, "The 40 Year Old Virgin"), whose performance on the ice falters when he finds out that his ex is having relations with an opposing team's goalie, Jacques Grande (Justin Timberlake). Pitka must save the relationship between Roanoke and his ex in order for the team to win the Stanley Cup.

I'm not going to beat around the bush here, this movie is bad. The entire time I was watching the movie, it seemed as if I'd already heard the jokes before. It just felt like a complete rehash of the Austin Powers movies. There are only so many pun and midget jokes a person can take.

Not only that but the number of butt and poop jokes is absurd. You can only tell a joke a certain number of times before it becomes annoying. The writers of this movie went way beyond that.

Aside from the crappy jokes (Ha! I can use puns, too), you also deal some extremely annoying characters. First of all, I think the only reason that Jessica Alba is in the movie is to fit the hot girl budget. She basically does nothing besides look at the camera and act hot. I mean, it's not really a bad thing, but it's not a good thing. And then there's Justin Timberlake. I don't know who decided to cast him in this role, but they seriously need to consider finding a new profession.

Maybe I was a little quick to judge earlier; the movie isn't all bad. There are actually a couple of good jokes and some great one-liners. But it's just not nearly enough to save the movie.

And then there's the ending, which is great, because that's the point when you finally realize the that movie is over and you can leave.