Funeral home directors, nurses say working with the dead can be difficult at times

Marian Hutchings never planned to enter the funeral home business.

As a CPA and co-owner of a photography business, Hutchings was enjoying working the two jobs.

When her father died in 1994, Hutchings' experience with a funeral home inspired her and her husband, Charles, to open Hutchings Funeral Home in Marble Hill, Mo.

Twelve years since that opening, Hutchings, her spouse, brother, sister-in-law, two children and another employee are still running a business they feel is a worthy calling.

"This is like any other family business," Hutchings said. "We try to teach our children to do this work well. While I don't think my children will enter this business, I feel like other children who do choose this profession must have an empathy and calling for this line of work."

Hutchings said building trust with the community is a key element of a successful funeral home business.

"My husband and I didn't realize how difficult it was until we started managing the business," Hutchings said. "My husband's prior experience in law enforcement helped us know about dealing with death. This was about combining a sense of knowing what to do with learning as we went."

While Hutchings is relatively new to the funeral home business, others, such as Mike Cracraft, have worked in the profession for decades. But though Cracraft has been in the business longer, he still must perform the same tasks Hutchings and other directors of funeral homes similar in size have to. Those duties include hand-delivering calendars advertising his business to 30 area churches, mowing the lawn and filling out insurance forms. His wife, Nancy, cleans the building.

A third-generation funeral home director of Cracraft-Miller Funeral Home, Cracraft said working in the family business was his calling. His grandfather purchased the business in 1924. The building, which Cracraft lived in until he was 6 years old, served as both a funeral home and furniture store until 2001, when the director decided to focus solely on ministering to families of the deceased.

"It was getting to the point where it was hard to take care of two businesses," Cracraft said. "This is my life's calling. Knowing you've helped families through a crisis in their lives and take care of their needs is what makes this job rewarding."

Cracraft said depending on the situation, it can be difficult dealing with the families.

"If the deceased is in their 80s or 90s, it's not as hard because you've known they've more than likely lived a great, full life," he said. "But if it's an infant, it can be traumatic.

"There's nothing I can say or do to help that family," he said. "All I can do is be there for the family and help them through the process."

Despite seeing families grieve and handling the bodies of the deceased up close, Cracraft said he's never thought of quitting.

"It takes a special kind of person to do this job," Cracraft said. "You can learn all you want about embalming and mortuaries but you have to learn firsthand how to deal with families and their emotions. My dad said that once you stop getting emotional that's it's time to quit and move on to something else."

Breaking the news

Like Cracraft, Southeast Missouri Hospital emergency room registered nurse Emily Scheper said people skills are important when informing families that one of their members has died.

"It is really hard to see someone die if the news is unexpected or traumatic such as a terrible accident when the injuries are so severe that the physicians are unable to help the patient," she said. "Also, cases in which infants/children have been in accidents are especially hard to deal with.

"When a child is really sick and has a fatal condition, the entire staff working in the ER is affected," she said. "That is when we all come together and support not only one another but also the families of those children."

Cape Girardeau County Coroner John Clifton said notifying the families of a death of their loved one can be emotionally draining, especially if that person was an infant or close friend. Even though he was elected to the office in 2004, Clifton said it's still hard to prepare for that particular task.

"There's no way you can fully prepare yourself," said Clifton, whose role includes investigating deaths, identifying bodies, determining whether autopsies are needed and signing death certificates for various funeral homes. "I've even known a few of the people I've had to pronounce dead. But it helps when we have a great staff that cares for each other and those families dealing with tragic losses."

bblackwell@semissourian.com

388-3628

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