Basketball has helped Leopold student Darren VanGennip maintain a positive outlook

LEOPOLD, Mo.

Darren VanGennip spent long days practicing basketball on the court behind St. John's Catholic Church in Leopold after his mother's death from lung and bone cancer, his father's suicide and the deployment of both his brother and sister to Iraq.

Darren was living with his grandparents at that time. On some days when he did not have school, he would play basketball from 10 a.m. until dark, pretending he was going against legends like Michael Jordan and "Pistol Pete" Maravich. Other times he found peers to play against.

Darren's grandmother, Wilma VanGennip, still laughs when she remembers how her grandson, then 13 years old, returned from the basketball court with $5 one night.

"He bet these bigger boys that he could beat them, and he beat them," Wilma said.

Darren played basketball as a way to cope with the loss of his parents and the deployment of his siblings.

"Basketball is probably what took my mind off of everything," Darren said.

Darren, an 18-year-old Leopold High School senior, is one of the top local basketball players. He is averaging nearly 25 points per game and scored 40 points in a contest against Zalma this year. He has helped Leopold (10-2) to a No. 8 ranking in Class 1.

Darren always displayed a positive attitude during difficult times. He never sat around and sulked. His positive outlook has helped him overcome tragedy, set an example for other family members and put him on the verge of achieving the goal he set in junior high of playing college basketball.

He has entertained interest from a few college basketball programs, including Meramec Community College and Central Methodist University.

Darren said he feels lucky for the life he has had and wants to teach others that losing loved ones is difficult, but acceptance is possible and necessary.

"He's used basketball as an outlet with things in his life to get refocused and to establish what he wants out of life," Leopold coach Shawn Kinder said.

Finding acceptance

Darren did not know what cancer was when his mother, Mary VanGennip, was diagnosed with it in May 1998 and died of it Feb. 28, 1999, when she was 41.

Darren was 8 years old at the time and unaware his mother was going to die.

He remembers his mother sitting in a chair pretending to have energy while watching "The Wizard of Oz" with him and observing him as he played video games.

"I just knew she was pretty sick," Darren said. "One Sunday morning Dad came in and told me she had died. That's how that went."

VanGennip lived with his father, Stephen VanGennip, and his older brother, Scott VanGennip, the next two years before his father committed suicide March 1, 2001, at 43 years old.

Darren said although his father had dated another woman after Mary had died, he believes his dad's suicide was the result of him feeling depressed over losing Mary.

Darren said he and his father had attended morning Mass on March 1, where prayers for Mary had been offered because it was near the two-year anniversary of her death.

Darren, who was 10, said his father pulled him aside after Mass and told him to sleep at his grandparents' house that night. Stephen called Darren at 9 p.m. and told his son he loved him about seven times. Four hours later, Darren's aunt visited to tell Darren his dad had died. Darren said he fell to his knees and cried.

"After that, everything just felt different to me," Darren said. "Everything just seemed kind of slower to me. For a while I'd wake up and I'd be so upset that I wouldn't want to do anything. But I started playing basketball and that kind of took my mind off it. So that got me on track."

Darren immediately moved in with his grandparents. He lived with them for about the next seven years until he moved into a rented house in Leopold with his brother.

At first Darren had trouble sleeping alone in his bedroom after his father's death. But Darren took only about two months to accept both his parents were gone forever and move on with his own life, Wilma said.

"I was as sad as you could be," Wilma said. "I remember [Darren] saying, 'Grandma, are you ever not going to be sad anymore?' And I thought, 'If that kid can live with it, then I can, too.' And he brought me out of it."

For Darren, acceptance came in the realization that his parents were not coming back. He realized he could not sit around and dwell on his misfortunes. He needed to stay active to get his mind off everything. He knew he could not let what happened have a negative affect on his life.

Scott lived with his and Darren's sister, Jodi VanGennip, and their aunt in Leopold following their father's death. Jodi and Scott were in high school. Jodi is now 26 and Scott is 25. They saw Darren often despite not living in the same house with him. And like Darren, both Jodi and Scott quickly accepted what had happened to their family.

"The main thing was that we each had each other," said Jodi, who graduated from Leopold in 2001.

Darren said he was not angry with his father for committing suicide because he understood his dad was experiencing a difficult time and because Stephen was always a terrific dad and teacher to him.

Playing more basketball

Darren's grandfather, John VanGennip, remembers Darren always practicing the form of his jump shot inside the house.

"Around here he was doing jump shots with his hands like he was shooting," John said.

Darren played basketball for fun before his parents died. He said his family had a court near their house and that he and Scott would play, even in bad weather. But Darren became more focused on basketball after moving in with his grandparents, who encouraged him to play because they felt it would keep him out of trouble.

Darren also began to watch a great deal of college basketball, especially the Kansas Jayhawks. He admired the players who could score 30 points per game and wanted to be that type of scorer.

Basketball took on even more importance for Darren in February 2004. That was when Scott and Jodi were deployed to Iraq. Both had joined the National Guard a few years earlier. They were stationed in Iraq until February 2005. Jodi was a medic, and Scott was a mechanic and gunner who also went out with a combat engineer team to dispose of bombs and munitions.

Darren worried about Scott and Jodi, so he again looked to basketball -- this time to relieve some stress. And with both siblings gone, there wasn't much else to do but play basketball.

"It was a pretty tough time for me because I really look up to my brother and sister, and not being able to talk to them for months at a time kind of made things difficult," he said. "I'd just play ball, and I guess that's where I fell in love with the game."

Darren said he decided he wanted to be one of the best basketball players ever to graduate from Leopold.

Darren said he often would use his imagination when he practiced. He pretended he was up against superstars, and he played through game situations in his mind. He also worked on his jump shot and his three-pointers, and often thought about how his father used to tell him he would never make it in basketball.

"I realized that he wasn't trying to be mean," Darren said. "I think he knew I had potential. And he told me that so I would work hard and grow to be a good player. I really took that to heart. After he died, I really thought about him saying that to me. That's what motivated me to play."

Darren improved a great deal during the time Scott and Jodi were in Iraq, both his siblings said.

"I remember walking into the gym and they had already started the first quarter, and he was in junior high then, and everybody was like, 'Gosh damn, that kid don't miss,'" said Scott, who also played basketball at Leopold before graduating in 2002.

Life goes on

Darren continues to practice his shooting. He's spent many Saturday mornings and nights working on his jump shot at the Leopold gym.

His work ethic, combined with the positive attitude, has helped him develop into a top shooter who teams struggle to defend against.

He has scored more than 1,000 points in his high school career. He is a player opposing coaches warn their players about before ballgames.

"That was our game plan -- not to let [Darren] have any wide open shots," St. Vincent coach Bruce Valleroy said after his team lost to Leopold on Thursday.

Darren also has been a successful pitcher on the Leopold baseball team. He tossed a no-hitter in his first ever varsity start for the Wildcats in April 2006.

Wilma, John, Jodi and Scott are in the stands as much as possible to cheer on Darren.

Wilma has never missed even one of Darren's school or Amateur Athletic Union games. She sits with a score book and keeps track of every point Darren and his teammates score. She has filled out four scorebooks since Darren was in junior high.

"I have every one of his points since he was in seventh grade," Wilma said. "If you asked me what game he made so many points in it wouldn't take me too long. I could look it up."

Jodi said that while watching Darren she often thinks about how much her parents would have enjoyed seeing him play. Mary and Stephen never got the chance to see Darren compete in an organized basketball game.

Darren said not one game goes by that he does not wish his parents had been there and wonder what his mom would have to him after seeing him play.

Darren thinks about his parents a great deal. He even bought a grave plot next to where his mother is buried so he could be buried beside her when he dies.

For now, Darren remains an example on how to live right.

"It's been tough," he said. "It was real tough at first. ... Life goes on. You've still got to live your life and that's all you can say, really."

csmith@semissourian.com

388-3655

Darren VanGennip

<param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/aO2Dsu5WIBk&hl=en&fs=1"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/aO2Dsu5WIBk&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="295">