Family offers glimpse of Mennonite life

Lois Troyer was born in Virginia Beach, Virginia, and raised in a Mennonite family with 10 other siblings.

"The Mennonite life is all I know," Troyer said. "I gave my heart to the Lord at a young age and became a member of the church at age 14."

When she was 8, her family moved to Auburn, Kentucky, to join a new church that was just starting. She attended the Mennonite school and lived in Auburn until she was 33.

She met her future husband, Melvin, when she was in her early teens. He was from Delaware and came to Auburn to stay with his married sister and work for the summer. At the end of the summer, he missed his plane going home.

"We like to think it was providence," Lois said with a smile.

As it turned out, Melvin had fallen in love with the way of life in the Auburn Mennonite community and obtained his parents' permission to stay in Kentucky.

"We were in the youth group together for five years. He has a terrific personality and sense of humor," Lois said.

Lois described what a date entails for a young Mennonite couple: "Usually he will pick her up and take her to church on Sunday morning. Then they will go to the girl's home for lunch. The date is in the afternoon; they will sit together and have a Bible study, talk, eat a snack and visit with the family. Then they'll go to church that evening for whatever activity the church is doing that night."

"Girls aren't allowed to date before the age of 18. Men will ask their parents for permission to date the girl before asking the girl herself. The parents are very involved."

Melvin and Lois were married when he was 23 and she was 21. They stayed at Auburn for 12 years, and then moved to Virginia to volunteer in a service unit at a nursing home that was owned and operated by the Mennonite church.

"The nursing home generates funds for missions. Everything that it doesn't take to run the home goes to missions," Lois said.

After staying in Virginia for two and a half years, the Troyers moved to Leitchfield, Kentucky, to start a new Mennonite church.

"Our vision with several other families was to start a church, and we had prearranged that if we get to a certain size, we'll plant a church in another place where there is no Mennonite witness. Within five years, our Leitchfield church was full from people moving in. People wanted to be involved with the things we do as Christians. We're looking down the road for what will be the safest for our children with eternity in view. We do everything we can to safeguard their lives and their future. We had an outreach, or church planting. Families volunteered to be chosen out of a lot and seven families were chosen. Those chosen for the first planting moved about an hour and a half away. In another five years, there was another church planting and we were chosen."

This planting brought the Troyers to Southeast Missouri about 10 years ago. They have nine children, five of whom are now married or gone from the home. Four of the children still live at home. The youngest is 13 years old and is still in school.

"My life is a little different now than was the norm for me, due to health issues," Lois said.

The Troyers have a store in Poplar Bluff, Missouri, at which Melvin and two of their daughters work each day. Lois makes breakfast, packs lunch for her youngest child, maintains the home, cooks, shops, and keeps up with the laundry. She also baby-sits three days a week.

Generally, Mennonite women sew their own clothing, garden, and can their own food. But Lois notes that individuals may exercise their own choice when it comes to making their own supplies versus purchasing them from the store.

"My goal as a Christian wife and mother is to be a keeper at home (Titus 2:5), obedient to my husband, to love my children and provide an atmosphere my family will want to come home to. 'I would have no greater joy than to see my children walk in truth' (3 John: 4)," Lois said.