Yes, it's time to sign up for the FEEALJLMWFDGTAYCECB

Ohmygod!

Those are the exact words uttered by our fair city's founder, Louis Lorimier.

The occasion was Lorimier's first hole-in-one more than 200 years ago on what is now affectionately known as the Old Course in downtown Cape Girardeau.

You might have thought, since Lorimier was from a French-Canadian background by way of Quebec, that he might have said something like Ohmondieu!

Or, since he was working for the Spanish government at the time, he might have said something like Ohmiodios!

But, no, Lorimier's faithful secretary carefully recorded his exact words in the official diary -- a diary whose lost pages just turned up recently in the back of a closet in an old house that apparently was occupied at one time by one of Lorimier's descendants.

Unlike some of Lorimier's other known records, which were not in English at all, these pages can be read today as easily as any other document in America's favorite (but not for too much longer) language.

It's nice to have accurate, easily understood records, particularly as the date approaches for the First-Ever Eleventh Annual Louis J. Lorimier Memorial World-Famous Downtown Golf Tournament and All-You-Can-Eat Catfish Buffet.

Or, as Lorimier's secretary would have noted, the FEEALJLMWFDGTAYCECB.

This year's tournament, as usual, will kick off at the gazebo on the Common Pleas Courthouse lawn in downtown Cape Girardeau. Tee time is 1 p.m., but you can sign up as early as 12:30 p.m. You'll have to plunk down $25 if you sign up by Sept. 21. After that, the cost is $35. Proceeds go to the Parks and Recreation Foundation for the Red House, which is a carefully detailed replica of Lorimier's home and store.

So, after 10 years and as many tournaments, what can I say about FEEALJL, etc.?

Well, as usual, I will personally guarantee you will have a good time. You won't get that, in writing, anywhere else. That's worth a few smackers, isn't it?

You might be asking: When?

Excellent question.

The 11th annual event will be Sunday, Sept. 25. It should be marked on your calendar already, but if it isn't, DO IT RIGHT NOW!

Again, the tournament will involve Birdieballs, which are shaped like napkin rings but perform amazingly like golf balls, except they don't break glass or dent automobiles, which makes them perfect for a tournament played on city streets, sidewalks, waterfronts and railroad tracks.

After the golfing, during which you will be responsible for keeping a careful and honest record of your score, there will be a catfish buffet at Port Cape. Certain libations that would have been totally familiar to Lorimier himself will also be available. And I'm not talking about muddy water from the mighty Mississippi River, if you get my drift.

Trophies will be awarded. Lots and lots of trophies. If you've ever wanted a golf trophy of your very own, now's your chance. Go for it.

Folks, I've done lots of fun things in my life. I would gladly do most of them again. And again. But downtown golf is one of those activities you just can't get too much of. Ever. No matter how hard you try.

Don't let the fact that there is only one downtown golf tournament in any given year put you off.

Oh, did I tell you professional golfer Jordan Spieth said he wants to play in Cape Girardeau's downtown golf tournament? He didn't say he would play, just that he wanted to play.

But who knows? Maybe he'll show up. Like a surprise. A big surprise. A very big surprise.

Wouldn't that be something?

And you wouldn't want to be one of those people who says, after the 11th annual event, that you wish you had signed up just so you could shake Jordan Spieth's hand. Would you?

So, don't waste this opportunity of a lifetime. Dust off your five-iron and bring it with you. Everything else will be provided, even a photo opportunity with Jordan Spieth, if he shows up.

What a deal: Have fun, play downtown golf, eat catfish, maybe pal around with one of the best professional golfers in the world and raise money for the Red House all in one afternoon.

Folks, if you can think of anything better to do Sept. 25, do it. But don't come crying to me afterwards saying you wish you had known what a big event this was. You have been duly informed.

The rest is up to you. Call the parks department at (573) 339-6340 if you have any questions. They have a bunch of answers just waiting for you.

Happy golfing.

Joe Sullivan is the retired editor of the Southeast Missourian.