Baby, you can’t drive my car

I’m old enough that I remember when cruise control became prevalent in the newer models of automobiles. I was initially skeptical about this newfangled invention, letting the engine (and sensors, etc.) essentially decide how fast you travel. Especially at first, I was always ready with my right foot hovering between the gas and brake pedals in case some sort of correction was required. This pretty much undermined the purpose of cruise control, although I considered this phraseology somewhat oxymoronic (cruise yes, but you’re totally giving up control).

Although I did eventually manage to reconcile myself to the use of cruise control, I totally draw the line at the concept of self-driving cars. No way!

The trend toward cars that can drive themselves has been coming for some time. Let’s think about this unemotionally, even if the idea makes you cringe (like me). Bottom line: Self-driving cars will depend on computers and sensors (or some combination thereof) to work. So you must ask yourself, are they reliable? I say a resounding no!

Actually, the concept of self-driving cars began in the 1920s, not long after regular, normal, non-self-driving cars were invented. What was wrong with those people? Fortunately, it wasn’t until 2005 that BMW came up with the first (somewhat) functional self-driving car.

But even now, in 2016, can we really trust the current state of technology to drive us around and get us there safely? If you have a certain brand of cellphone, then you already know this can’t be the case. This particular phone can set itself on fire, apparently at the whim of the device itself. Of course, it’s the fault of their computer thingies inside their internal workings (sorry for the technical language). What this means is that they hate you. Give them control of a car and they certainly might try to kill you.

If that’s not scary enough, there are at least 13 companies working on thrusting self-driving cars at us in the future. True self-driving cars are slated for sale in 2018, although some models featuring this “improvement” may already be available. Yee hah!

My trepidations regarding this trend are certainly not unfounded. There has been a fatality involving a computer car this year. The driver had it in self-drive mode and hit a truck (the truck driver, a human, survived). I mean no disrespect, but that hurts! In addition, the Google car that’s used for automatic mapping keeps crashing so often that they may scrap the whole project. These cars haven’t killed anyone yet, to my knowledge, but it’s not because they’re not trying.

There was also an experiment this year involving a major beer company. They had a truck make a very long delivery, driving itself more than a thousand miles (can you imagine entrusting a truck with something as valuable as beer?). A human driver was along for the ride, but supposedly did nothing. The beer truck did complete the delivery “by itself.” If you were the (non) driver, wouldn’t you have been tempted to lighten the load in back along the way? I know I would. A little gas for you, a little beer for me!

Maybe I’ll eventually learn to trust my car to drive itself, although I doubt it. I do still use cruise control, but I no longer sleep while my car is on its own. You have to watch these modern conveniences all the time. It’s a matter of trust.

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About R.W. Weeks

Rob is a retired Southern Illinois University instructor who lives on his family’s farm in Union County, Illinois. His mother, Joan, who is a nice person, lives in Cape Girardeau.