At 80, Jane Stacy is still her father's daughter

Some people know Jane Cooper Stacy as the former First Lady of Southeast Missouri State University. To others it's her connection to sister Betty Hearnes (wife of the late Gov. Warren Hearnes). But most know her as the longtime alumni director at Southeast Missouri State, a position she held for 35 years.

On Sunday (July 22) a birthday celebration will be held for Stacy -- who turns 80 on Monday -- at the Wehking Alumni center on campus. From 2 to 5 p.m. friends are welcome to stop by to extend birthday greetings. There will be music and a few stories shared.

My connection to Stacy dates back to 2008. I was starting the MBA program at Southeast when an opportunity presented itself to work at the University Foundation.

Little did I know that over the course of the next 12 months I would receive a crash course in Development 101.

My responsibilities were primarily to drive Stacy to appointments, listen, help make presentations and take notes. Each day she would map out visits with alumni and friends of the university. I would drive and Stacy shared stories.

But there was something different about Stacy. Could she talk? Yes. But when others talked, she listened and genuinely cared about what they had to say.

Stacy's start as alumni director came under former Southeast president Dr. Mark Scully in 1973. This was only one year after she finished her degree at Southeast.

"I've been thinking it over," Stacy recalled Scully saying. "You know how to do everything, like entertain. I've known you a long time. [Alumni director] Hattie Eicholtz is getting too old to do the job, and so we need a new alumni director and you're it."

Jane was a bit taken back by the offer, which was delivered in less of a question and more like a statement.

"You're it," Scully continued. "I've already told Hattie that you'll be starting Monday."

This wasn't welcome news to Eicholtz, Stacy said. Eicholtz was 83 and did not want to retire, especially as the university planned its centennial celebration.

"The only way that I got by her and got her to help is that I said to her, 'My name will not be listed anywhere as director of Homecoming Commission. In the Sagamore [yearbook] you'll be listed.' And that's the only reason that she ever helped with anything."

Stacy had a way of working through challenging circumstances. It's a skill she used more than once in her 35-year career.

Shortly after the centennial Scully came to her angry about expenses incurred, including what he thought was an excess of cookies.

"I knew Scully was going to get me because I had spent money I had to spend," she said. "He never would order enough cookies for graduation. He never had enough. He wouldn't spend a dime." She added that Scully would send funds back to the state, which didn't thrill other public university presidents in Missouri.

After Scully reprimanded her for what he believe was wasteful spending, Stacy stood up and said as long as she was director they would have plenty of cookies and a good tablecloth for the reception. To her, making sure there were plenty of cookies and a nice reception showed respect not only for the students but to the parents who sent their children to the university.

"He never again questioned me, not once, about what I spent," Stacy said.

The story is funny but it's also consistent with how she has lived her life: Treat everyone with dignity, just like her father the Rev. A.B. Cooper.

"I inherited my dad's ability to reach out to people. I knew people. I had been in politics. I was good at politics. But it's still about building relationships. And it wasn't long before I had relationships with all these kids who were on my homecoming steering committee."

Stacy said being around her dad, a small-town preacher, taught her a lot about building relationships.

"He didn't demean anyone. He felt like it was a privilege to speak to everyone."

When her father would visit people at home, Stacy, the youngest Cooper child, was by his side to listen. When they got back in the car, Rev. Cooper would ask her to repeat what he was supposed to do.

That model of building friendships, listening and making notes about what follow up should take place became Stacy's model as alumni director and as one of the university's best fundraisers.

"People say everywhere that I'm a good talker, that I can talk to anybody. The truth is I'm a much better listener than a talker."

Though she's been retired from the university for nearly 10 years, Stacy still leads her life with a passion for building relationships and treating everyone with dignity.

She spends time and raises money for the Baptist Student Center. It's become a hub for students to gather and a specific outreach to international students.

"Daddy started the Baptist Foundation. So how perfect to have A.B. Cooper ministries," she said.

Helping international students means making sure they have something good to eat and a place to stay. She said there are days where she'll ask what they are upset about. They may not want to talk about it, but nearly always they're open to letting Stacy pray for them.

Yet again, Stacy's focus is on listening and treating everyone with dignity. She's her father's daughter.

Lucas Presson is the assistant publisher of the Southeast Missourian.