Ceremony held for violent crime victims, families

Victims of violent crime and their families gathered at Cape County Park North to share their stories and comfort one another during a service hosted by the Cape Girardeau County Prosecuting Attorney's office Wednesday.

"Wouldn't it be wonderful if we didn't have to do this?" Cape Girardeau County Prosecuting Attorney Mark Welker said of the annual event, now in its 16th year.

But, he continued, that's not the reality victims of violent crime have to live with. He said his office is committed to dealing with violent crime and ensuring the safety of residents in the Cape Girardeau area.

Mary Ann Castillo, victim advocate with the Cape Girardeau County Prosecuting Attorney's office, said while victims and their families often struggle for years after enduring a traumatic event, coming together as a community can provide a degree of healing.

"My belief is that healing should be our goal. We can't control the outcome of the criminal process, but we can give people hope," she said.

She said many people don't realize how long it often takes victims to process events, especially if they end up involved in the court proceedings against the perpetrator.

"Follow the rules. Raise your kids. Show up to work, all while dealing with all this criminal process," she said. "Some bosses are understanding, while other bosses, not so much."

But Soni Lloyd, program manager at the Community Resource Center's Conextion program (a part of Community Counseling Center) said there are many support options open to victims, including a 24-hour crisis line, therapy for adults and children, as well as a new police substation on Cape Girardeau's south side at 402 S. Sprigg St., where victims or witnesses can meet privately with an officer.

She said even if victims feel hopeless, there is always a reason for hope.

"Hope is what got you up this morning. Hope is what keeps you going," she said. "Hope for tomorrow. Hope for today. Hope for the next hour. For some people, it's just hope for a second. But as long as you keep moving forward, you have hope."

Victims then took turns taking a flower to honor their experience or their lost loved ones.

Some, like Diane Miller, of Cape Girardeau, were comfortable speaking publicly about their ordeal. Miller's brother, Ralph Lee Lape Jr., was murdered in July 2002, and Miller said it took 16 years for the two men responsible to receive life sentences.

"[These ceremonies] give people something to remember these people by," she said, adding she had never missed one of the memorials. "This is a safe place to come, and even the people who said they weren't victims, that they are just family members of victims, they are victims as well. Crimes like these touch more than just the [primary victim]."

tgraef@semissourian.com

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