PICKY PALAGES: WHAT SHOULD A PARENT DO WHEN KIDS WON'T EAT?

Three-year-old Kelly Brunke didn't eat the hot dog served at lunch Wednesday at Trinity Lutheran Early Learning Center because it had barbecue sauce on it.

She said she might eat the bun, changed her mind, but definitely liked the pineapple chunks and french fries.

The ketchup went untouched.

Across the table, Cameron Jansen, also 3, cleared his plate without complaint.

Getting children to eat hot dogs or hamburgers is generally easy, but trying to introduce new foods can be tricky for parents and day care workers.

It's a familiar problem: A child absolutely refuses to eat anything but a few specific foods. The problem can be frustrating because it seems so irrational -- the sight of peas can elicit a tantrum from an otherwise good-natured kid.

Sally Lee, editor in chief of Parents magazine, says that children often are testing their independence by refusing to eat.

"It can become an issue of control between children and parents. It's something parents worry about, and kids pick up on these hot-button issues," she says.

Try it once

Chryss Rhymer of Scott City, Mo., didn't make meals an issue with her three children. She said she's never cooked any meal just for her children that she and her husband, Mike, weren't going to eat also.

"My rule is that you try it one time and if you don't like it, you don't have to eat it," said Rhymer.

So Shelby, 5, and Brandon and Skylar, twins approaching age 2, have tried tuna salad, salmon and rice and chicken and squash without complaint. Their favorites are chicken and green beans.

"They eat just about anything," Rhymer said.

But that's not the case for every parent.

Forcing children to eat can lead to greater problems for parents, however. Lee says parents should respond to picky eaters by continuing to offer different foods, even if they refuse to eat them.

Cindy Farrow, director at the Trinity day care center, said that children often refuse new foods because they haven't been exposed to them.

"It depends on what they get at home," she said. "A lot of times when they see other kids eating then they'll eat."

Eat healthy food

Parents can help by eating healthy foods themselves, said Tricia Friess, a registered dietitian at Southeast Missouri Hospital.

"And limit the undesirable foods that you bring home," she said.

Children eat when they get hungry. "They will not starve," but what they eat might not be nutritionally balanced, Farrow said.

Parents of picky eaters shouldn't get too worried too quickly, said Lori Pettet, assistant manager of nutrition services at St. Francis Medical Center.

"Make sure that they have something they will eat, but offer it with a variety so they will eventually make other choices," she said.

Toddlers especially like to go on food jags, which are periods when they single out a particular food to eat. Parents shouldn't worry as long as they're eating, Pettet said. "Pretty soon they'll get tired of it."

"It's more frustrating for the parents than it is harmful for the child," she said.

And Pettet knows plenty about picky eaters since her 2-year old son is one. Pancakes, which are a favorite for her son, turned into a disastrous offering at breakfast not too long ago.

Pettet normally cuts the pancakes into bite-size pieces before offering it to her son. But one week, he decided that he'd rather pick it up to eat it, like toast, instead of having pieces.

"He even says I hate that,'" Pettet said.

Parents should be assertive in offering new foods but do so in a positive way. Sometimes offering it in a different way, raw instead of cooked, can help convince a child it's worthy of eating.

Research shows that it takes eight to 15 tries of offering food before a child feels like it's familiar enough and would be OK to eat, Pettet said.

Toddlers are especially prone to food jags, but don't let the child take over the menu control, Friess said. "They're just showing off their independence."

Encourage the child to try a small bite or spoonful of a new food, Friess said. "They're fearful of those new foods. It's a foreign object to them."

Gayle Conrad said her daughters aren't finicky eaters but are picky about how they eat their foods. Her middle child, 5, doesn't like for any of her foods to be mixed together. That means no casseroles or mixed vegetables served at their Jackson, Mo., home.

If any foods look different or look like they might not taste good, it's an automatic out for her daughters, Conrad said.

Of course, "if it's junk food or fast food, they'll eat it," she said.