SUPERMOMS: MORE THAN HALF OF MARRIED MOMS IN U.S. ARE WORKING

The theme song for today's generation of working mothers was written more than 45 years ago.

"I'm a Woman" featured a working mother who claimed to be able to "bring home the bacon and fry it up in a pan," and complete any number of seemingly amazing feats.

She was a homemaker and a spouse, a working woman and a mother, pleasant to look at, and at times, a feminist.

According to Census 2000 data, both parents work in 53 percent of married-couple households with children. And the Population Reference Bureau, a Washington, D.C.-based nonprofit group that studies population trends and their implications, suggests that number is on the rise.

While the latest figures aren't available for Cape Girardeau County, national trends suggest that both parents are working in many of the 11,509 married-couple households with children counted in the county during the latest census.

That means even Cape Girardeau, with its emphasis on traditional values and the importance of family, has its share of the nation's "supermoms."

"This generation has grown up more with the idea that a woman can have a career and family," said Larry Hamilton, an assistant professor of sociology at Southeast Missouri State University. "Men were always brought up that way."

Nancy Jernigan, 46, a wife and mother of three children, is one of many women in Cape Girardeau who has opted to develop a career and serve as primary caregiver for her family. She has heard the title supermom but doubts she qualifies, despite the heavy workload she carries as executive director of the Area Wide United Way.

"Sometimes I don't feel like a supermom, especially when I know there are lots of other women who are busier than me," she said. "It's not ever a solo effort."

Lisa Volkerding, 45, said managing a career and family is more a balancing act than superhuman effort. Volkerding, supervisor for court security at the Federal Building, said she and her husband rely on each other and "Plan B-Grandma" to make sure someone is always around for their three children.

"The whole key is balance," she said.

Despite those examples, Hamilton said the idea of supermoms who can have it all -- successful careers and healthy, well-nurtured families -- is a myth. The university's resident expert on family and child relationships, he has studied outcomes for children in families where both parents work.

"You can't do it all. Something has to give," he said.

Although working can provide monetary gain and a positive carryover into homes when a woman is happy in her job, there are some pitfalls, he said. For example, working mothers have less time to spend with their husbands and children, spend time at their children's schools or volunteer in the community.

But the news isn't all bad. Hamilton said there also are some positive results from the trend of mothers in the workplace: It's forcing males to take on non-traditional roles in the home and community.

"There is a need for more communication between spouses about child-related issues than there would be if one person was at home full time," he said. "That means you've got to share more. And I have seen more male volunteers than I have in the past."

From war to necessity

The marked increase in the number of working mothers began in World War II after women entered the labor force as part of the war effort. When the war ended and men returned looking for their jobs, some women detested returning to full-time homemaker status and continued working, said Hamilton.

As time progressed, what began as a patriotic duty became an economic necessity for families who needed the mother's paycheck just to survive.

"The economic reality today in most cases is you need two wage-earners to support your family," said Hamilton. "Most of us want to give our children some advantages, and those advantages have a pricetag."

Hamilton said the idea that women must work outside the home to make financial ends meet belies the popular sentiment that Americans put family first. Often, the wages just aren't there for families to have only one breadwinner.

Stephanie Williamson, 30, of Cape Girardeau, stayed home for nearly eight months after the birth of her third son. Williamson said she returned to work because of her family's need for a second income and because "staying at home just wasn't for me."

"I also went down to having just one in day care since my oldest two would be in first grade and kindergarten, so it became cost effective," said Williamson, who works as a sales representative for Southwestern Bell.

Against the trend

But there are some women who are escaping the trend and enjoy their role as stay-at-home moms.

"I like the path I've chosen. It's been a good life," said Kristen Bell, 41, of Jackson, Mo. Bell is a wife and mother of three teen-agers, and she has not used her degree in biology since the birth of her oldest child, now 17.

Bell said her husband was supportive of her decision, but some of her peers thought she was being too old fashioned.

Involvement in community groups has given her the support she's needed over the years.

Now, Bell said she sees some working mothers who wish they could trade places with her.

"When I first had my kids everyone thought they could do it all," she said. "I think maybe they're coming around to the fact that you can do it all, but you can't do it all well."

Stay-at-home mother of four Toni Moll, 39, of Cape Girardeau said she quit her job nine years ago while pregnant with her third child. Mothers who stay home are able to experience more of the milestones in their children's lives, she said.

"I thought I was on top of it," said Moll. "I didn't realize what I was missing until I got to experience the whole bit with my third one."

The tradeoff for Moll has been she doesn't have as much financial freedom as some of her friends who work. But she said the memories and daily interaction she has with her children cannot be measured in money.

"Time is too short. It's those little things you don't have a chance to get back," Moll said. "Granted, I don't get to go out and buy myself clothes and things I'd like to have, but there's time for that.".