BETWEEN THE LINES: CATS SHARE KNOWLEDGE; WORK ON TRAINING OWNER

* If I could get the cats to learn a few of my suggested tricks, maybe we could live in peace and harmony.

Who says you can't teach an old pet new tricks?

I have proof that it's simply not true. In the past few months, my cats have taught each other a few tricks of their own.

Now if I could just get them to learn the few tricks I think are important we might be able to live in peace and harmony. As it is now, they seem to have taken control of the place.

My cats stay inside most of the day and venture out after dark, when the hunting seems better. Sometimes I have to call them to the door, but most times they just notify me when they are ready to venture outdoors.

And they don't choose a traditional method like meowing since that would be too simple. Instead, they ring a bell which notifies me that they're waiting by the front door. It seems that knowledge is power and they're sharing information, which means they are in control of the house.

Coca (the mother cat who adopted me) was one of the first to learn this latest trick. Although her partner in crime, Nick, probably knew about it first if truth be told.

Now Coca has taught Josie, my other female, how to stretch her paws up to the bells tied around my door handle and ring them whenever she wants out. Then Josie or Coca just sit and wait for my arrival. If I'm not fast enough, Coca will ring the bells again in quick succession to hurry me up. Coca goes in and out so quickly you would think I had a revolving front door.

Now it seems that Josie has taught Coca a trick in return. Now that Christmas is over I've put a damper on their fun: The girls like to play with ornaments hanging on the tree.

Just days after putting up my miniature Christmas tree over the holidays, I remarked how good Josie had been about not knocking it over. You see, she likes to play with the ornaments on the tree. The glittering balls and dangling hearts and such are too tempting for her not to reach up and knock them down. In years past, I could come home from work and find the tree had been knocked over and the ornaments scattered. But days later I found I'd spoken too early.

She and Coca were sitting near the tree; Coca next to it on the bookshelf where it sat and Josie just below. Coca would knock the ornaments off and Josie would bat it around the room until Coca came down to join her. It had become a great game for the duo.

And then there's E.B., who my mother claims is the best cat but I'd beg to differ. He only eats Kitten Chow, despite being nearly 4 years old. And he only eats from a dish in the bathroom -- away from all the other cats.

All that doesn't sound too bad until you learn that he's got all the cats wanting Kitten Chow, not their regular Cat Chow diet. And they all prefer to eat the "baby food" from a dish in the bathroom. It's gotten so bad lately that we had to put an extra bowl in the hallway so everybody would get a chance for the treat.

Maybe their tricks aren't enough to get them a stint on David Letterman's Stupid Pet Tricks, but they sure got my attention.

Laura Johnston is a staff writer for the Southeast Missourian.