THE CASE OF THE WATERMELON PATCH MYSTERY; CHAPTER FIVE: THERE'S TROUBLE IN THE WATERMELON PATCH (PART 5 OF 14)

THE STORY SO FAR: Things turned bad for Hank and Slim when Sally May discovered a wet spot on her shirt. It took all the fun out of Slim's prank.

Sally May went to the house. The screen door slammed. Slim said something under his breath and then looked down at me. He didn't appear too happy. I whapped my tail on the ground.

"Thanks, pooch, for wettin' on my boss's wife." He picked up the laundry basket and carried it towards the house. "You take a good wholesome prank and run it into the ground. Dumb dog."

Oh yeah? If I was so dumb, how come he got to hang the clothes out on the line and I got to watch?

That's how dumb I was. Heh, heh.

I enjoyed it too. And it wasn't me who wet on her. It was Drover. Honest.

Boy, old Slim was mad. I thought he was going to bite one of those clothespins in half. After he finished with his laundry work, he got into his pickup and drove off to check on the watermelon patch. He wasn't gone long before he came back. I knew something was wrong when I saw his pickup coming back to headquarters.

I knew his driving patterns, see, and his driving patterns could be described with one word: slow. I mean, here was a guy who walked slow and talked slow, and it was only natural that he drove at the same pace.

So when I saw his old pickup streaking down the road from the mailbox, I knew something was up, and I felt so sure about it that I took the extraordinary measure of putting the whole ranch on red alert.

This required that I pull Drover away from his latest folly, barking at bumblebees. Time didn't permit me to give him a lecture on wasting time and acting silly. I knew we had us a code three coming down the road and I ordered him to follow me up to the yard gate.

We arrived at the gate just seconds after Slim had slid to a stop. I read his face and saw that my hunch had been correct. His eyes were tight,his lips compressed.

The pickup door flew open and he stepped out. "Dogs, we've got problems."

See? I knew it.

He stormed through the gate and Loper came out on the porch to meet him. Loper had been inside, paying bills and catching up on his bookkeeping. In other words, he was mad too.

You didn't want to spend much time around Loper on the day he paid the bills. He was about as friendly as a rattlesnake.

Anyway, Loper came out on the porch. "What's up?"

"Thirty-seven busted watermelons is what's up. The patch got raided last night. Coons."

Loper didn't say a word. He ducked back inside, grabbed his hat, gave Sally May a kiss and climbed into Slim's pickup. We dogs loaded into the back and off we went to the field to check out the damage.

About the time we reached the mailbox and turned east, Drover realized that something was up. "Where we going?"

"To the watermelon patch. Don't you ever listen?"

"Oh, sometimes. Didn't we just get back from the watermelon patch?"

"That was last night, Drover. This is today. There's a difference, you know."

"Yeah, they're as different as night and day."

"Exactly. And we've just received word from a reliable source that the watermelon patch has been attacked. We've heard that a hundred and thirty-seven melons were killed or wounded."

"Oh my gosh!"

"And one of the casualties might be Sally May's new couch."

"Oh that's awful. Maybe she shouldn't have left it outside."

"What? No, no, you don't understand." I tried to explain the deal about selling watermelons and using the money to buy a couch.

Drover nodded. "Oh, I get it now. I thought maybe there was a couch growing on one of the watermelon vines."

"No, that's totally incorrect. Couches do not grow on watermelon vines. Watermelons grow on watermelon vines."

"Well, that makes sense."

"If you want to grow a couch, you have to plant a couch seed, but that's not what we planted."

"I think I'm confused."

"Exactly. Now dry up."

"Yeah, we sure need a rain."

I studied him for several minutes, wondering ... oh well.

I had no more time to spend on Drover's nonsense, for we had arrived at the scene of the terrible murders. It was time for me to get to work on the case.

NEXT CHAPTER: Hank arrives at the crime scene.