Two women in a store are having a conversation. One turns to go, saying, "See you later!"

Mentally, she kicks herself. The woman she had been speaking with is blind. She hadn't meant to be so insensitive.

Should she apologize?

No. She should calm down.

According to the "10 Commandments of Etiquette for Communicating with People with Disabilities," the woman who said "see you later" to the blind woman simply used an accepted, common expression for goodbye.

Recent changes in laws, policies and attitudes have opened opportunities for people with disabilities to pursue education, recreation and employment in the mainstream of community life.

As we increasingly find ourselves in situations involving people with disabilities, people are seeking to enhance understanding and communication in everyday interactions.

The President's Committee on Employment of People with Disabilities has put together communication guidelines, complete with a list of 10 "commandments."

The guidelines remind the reader that people with disabilities prefer to be referred to as people with disabilities, not disabled people.

Also, people with disabilities should not be solely labeled as conditions or diseases, for example, the blind or the deaf; they are individuals first, and only secondarily do they have one or more disabling conditions.

Students and faculty at Southeast Missouri State University have the opportunity to learn more about communication techniques.

As part of the university's "Embracing Diversity" symposium next week, Drs. Karen Myers and Kerry Wynn are hosting a hands-on workshop titled, "Is it OK to Say That?"

The workshop for students, faculty and staff will be held from 9:30 a.m. to 11:30 a.m. Tuesday in the University Center.

Each semester Myers and Wynn moderate the interactive workshop with the goal of helping participants feel more confident interacting with people who have disabilities.

Myers, who is legally blind, said she wants to help people learn how to communicate comfortably with each other.

"We talk to participants about people with various disabilities and try to teach them communication techniques," Myers said.

The workshop goes over appropriate questions to ask and other communication do's and don'ts.

One common mistake people make in communicating with people who have sight disorders is talking louder, Myers said.

To help people get an idea of the challenges people with disabilities face, moderators have workshop participants

Students may be asked to keep jawbreakers in their mouth so they can't speak clearly or to wear ear plugs or blindfolds during the workshop.

Workshop participants then discuss their experiences, how others reacted to them and what accommodations could have been made to ease the situation.

"The point is to raise awareness, it is not meant to give them an idea of what life with a disability is like," Myers said.

Outlined below are the 'Ten Commandments' of etiquette for communicating with people with disabilities.

1. When talking with a person with a disability, speak directly to that person rather than through a companion or sign language interpreter.

2. When introduced to a person with a disability, it is appropriate to offer to shake hands. People with limited hand use or who wear an artificial limb can usually shake hands. (Shaking hands with the left hand is an acceptable greeting.)

3. When meeting a person who is visually impaired, always identify yourself and others who may be with you. When conversing in a group, remember to identify the person to whom you are speaking.

4. If you offer assistance, wait until the offer is accepted. Then listen to or ask for instructions.

5. Treat adults as adults. Address people who have disabilities by their first names only when extending the same familiarity to all others. (Never patronize people who use wheelchairs by patting them on the head or shoulder.)

6. Leaning on or hanging on to a person's wheelchair is generally considered annoying. The chair is part of the personal body space of the person who uses it.

7. Listen attentively when talking with a person who has difficulty speaking. Be patient and wait for the person to finish, rather than correcting or speaking for the person. If necessary, ask short questions that require short answers, a nod or shake of the head. Never pretend to understand if you are having difficulty doing so. Instead, repeat what you have understood and allow the person to respond. The response will clue you in and guide your understanding.

8. When speaking to a person who uses a wheelchair or a person who uses crutches, place yourself at eye level in front of the person to facilitate the conversation.

9. To get the attention of a person who is deaf, tap the person on the shoulder or wave your hand. Look directly at the person and speak slowly and expressively to determine if the person can read your lips. Not all people who are deaf can read lips. For those who do, be sensitive to their needs by placing yourself so that you face the light source and keep hands, cigarettes and food away from your mouth when speaking.

10. Relax. Don't be embarrassed if you happen to use accepted, common expressions such as 'See you later,' or 'Did you hear about that?' Don't be afraid to ask questions when you're unsure of what to do.

Source: National Center for Access Unlimited