MILLENNIUM ESSAY CONTEST WINNERS; LOOKING BACK AWARD OF MERIT: VIEW OF MIDCENTURY

When I was about the age of 10, it occurred to me that with a birthdate of June 15, 1950, I had been born almost smack dab in the middle of this century. If my parents had first conceived of me about two weeks later, I could have been right on the mark! Being born in 1950 made it easy for others to remember my birthday, and even easier for me to figure the passing years accurately as I grew older.

In the 1960s, with the sobering thoughts of a possible nuclear attack weighing heavily on my young mind, I pondered the very real possibility that I might not live to see a new century, the turning of the calendar to that strange-looking date of 2000. Each time we heard the sound of a jet overhead, it made us junior high students wonder about just how easily our existence could be erased. I remember thinking that if I was one of the lucky ones to make it through that turbulent decade, I would be 50 years old on the turning of the century. There seemed to be something unique about turning a half-century old on the turning of a completely new century.

My grandmother, who was born in 1900, the beginning of the 20th century, had a viewpoint about mortality worth passing down to me. Near the end of her life and struggling with the ravages of an illness, she once told me that many mornings she would rise and go into the bathroom, look up into the mirror and wonder just who that old lady was that was looking back at her. In her mind, she declared she felt the same now as in her youth. I understand that feeling now. Mirrors are not always an accurate reflection of who or what we see.

How many times have I driven down the road in my vehicle, glancing occasionally into the rear and side mirrors to keep in proper alignment on the highway. On my passenger-side mirror it states: "Objects in mirror are closer than they appear." The manufacturer meant that statement as advice to keep me safe.

At the end of this century, I find myself reflecting on all the events in my mirrors. Perhaps the objects in my rear-view mirror have shaped and guided my life to this junction, but I am still the driver who sets the course ahead. So far, the journey has been a safe one. There is an excellent chance that I will, indeed, make it to my personal midway point in life. The turning of the century is close at hand.

On Jan. 1, 2000, I intend to rise from bed in the morning, go to the bathroom mirror and check to see if that 50-year-old reflection is waiting there for me. If so, we shall smile at each other, toast the wisdom of my grandmother's eternal mental youth, and continue driving forward into the next century, remembering to occasionally check the reflection in the rear-view mirror for guidance.