Loretta Wilson said if it weren't for Bettie Knoll she never would have made it after her daughter was killed by a drunk driver.
"The day that our daughter was killed, we had nobody," Wilson said. "After we met Bettie, we knew we had a friend. Bettie helped me for many a mile."
Knoll has been the victim's rights advocate at the Cape Girardeau Police Department for more than 10 years, helping casualties of rape, assault, robbery, murder and sexual abuse.
On Friday, state Rep. Mary Kasten presented an award of appreciation from the Missouri House of Representatives to Knoll for her years of service to the community at a meeting of the Community Caring Council.
Kasten and others called the award "long overdue."
Wilson said Knoll advised her family of their rights as victims, explained and provided transportation for court proceedings and provided a good ear for listening.
And, most importantly, she became Wilson's good friend.
"When I went to court, she just held my hand," Wilson said. "She doesn't put you off. She accepted us like we belonged to her. She'll cry with me and laugh with me."
Morley Swingle, who works with Knoll in his job as prosecuting attorney of Cape Girardeau County, said she becomes friends to many of the people she helps.
"I don't think our victim's advocacy program would be anywhere near as successful without this one human being," Swingle said.
Knoll modestly describes her job as simply being someone who can listen.
"A lot of times they just need somebody to be there and listen to them," Knoll said. "Someone who is sincere and has feelings. Victims are often traumatized and have no idea what their rights are."
Knoll has had a distinguished career helping victims who need it. She started as a volunteer in 1983 coordinating the Neighborhood Watch Program with the police department.
She then began working as a victims' rights volunteer in 1984. The next year, a victims' assistance program was started by Larry Ferrell, who was then county prosecuting attorney. She liked the idea and got involved.
"I thought I could cure the world with a Band-Aid," she said. "It didn't take me long to realize that wasn't going to happen."
Less than a year later, a full-time job was created for her at the police department, and she's been there speaking out for and assisting victims since.
"Bettie is a very dedicated person who works tirelessly to make sure that the victim's needs are met," said Sharee Galnore, who has worked with her for six years as coordinator of the Safe Communities Project.
Galnore also works with Knoll in Mothers Against Drunk Driving.
"Bettie is the perfect person for this job; she cares deeply," Galnore said. "She puts every bit of her heart into her job."
Acting Police Chief Steve Strong said it would be impossible to replace Knoll.
"I don't know a person more dedicated to what they do than Bettie," he said. "She doesn't wait for a call from us, as soon as something happens, she's already there making suggestions."
Knoll's training didn't come from textbooks in a stuffy classroom; it came from experience. Knoll said she learned how to deal with victims though traumas in her own life. And long before she did it as a living, she was very empathic for those who suffered.
"It didn't seem fair that the victims never had a say," Knoll said. "I wanted to make a difference and I learned how to through trial and error."
She said her first case is also one of the ones she remembers most. The victim was a minor child who had been sexually abused and who was to testify in the matter.
"I had to take the little girl home with me so there wouldn't be a mistrial," she said. "She wasn't supposed to discuss the case, even with family members so I took her to my house."
This case was also one Knoll considers most gratifying: "When she got off that stand, her arms went out to me and I took her out of the courtroom and we cried together. "I knew I made a difference then."
After all these years, she said she hasn't become calloused and still feels compassion for victims.
"I don't look at people as statistics," she said. "They're not just numbers, they're people."
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